How French are you?

Do you belong in a café on the Left Bank

Question 1:   When it comes to arguing...
I must always win.
Every side always has valid points.
It is as essential as breathing.
I try to avoid conflict.
It is impossible to take a position which is reasonable, nor not to take an unreasonable position.

Question 2:   When I see a rabbit, I think...
A coward, afraid of predators.
Of appropriate sauces.

Question 3:   Jacques...?
de Monkey

Question 4:   The Eiffel Tower is...
In Paris
An example of the futility of technology to cure man's woes.
A giant metal phallus.
Someplace for Mothra to spin a cocoon.
The beginning of post-Modernism as an example of beloved worthless kitch.

Question 5:   I'd rather eat...
A Frozen "Quelle Quiche" Quiche Lorraine
Bangers and Mash
Un "Big Mac"
Vitello alla Parmigiana
My own vomit

Question 6:   The most despicable people in the world are the ...
Germans because they ravaged our country completely 3 times in the last 130 years.
Americans because they have destroyed all culture.
The English because they killed Jean d'Arc.
The Belgians. Just because.

Question 7:   My ideal car is...
Roomy and spacious
Sporty and fast
10 cubic meters and can dart insanely fast deftly through city traffic on 20 km per liter and costs €5000.
Complete with all the amenities.
Le Métro.

Question 8:   Johnny ___

Question 9:   Who won World War II?
The Allies
The Good Ol' US of A!
Charles deGalle
Does anyone ever win when there is war?

Question 10:   How many alcoholic beverages do you consume a day?
None. Wine and aperitifs are not alcoholic beverages.
As many as I damn well feel like!
Two fingers of wine in my water, I'm under 12.

Question 11:   Je te plumerai...
La Tête
Le Nez
Les Yeux
Le Cou
Le Cul

Question 12:   My first sexual experience was...
In the Greek Islands with a member of the opposite sex 30 years older than me.
In the butt.
In the back seat of a Citroën.
While bathing nude in a waterfall.

Question 13:   Your ideal job is. to be..
A Painter
A Philosopher
A Poet
A Government Bureaucrat
To be on strike all your adult life

Question 14:   People who smile all the time are...
Happy and confident
Up to no good

Question 15:   La plume de ma tante est...
Sur le bureau.
Ma tante n'est pas un oiseau.
Ma tante ne peut pas écrire parce que la monde l'a silencée.
Elle reste encore dans l'alouette.

Question 16:   Liberté, Égalité et...
What the hay?

Question 17:   Gérard Dépardieu is...
All of the Above

Question 18:   Céline Dion is...

Question 19:   How do you spot an American in France?
By their USA T-Shirt/Sweatshirt.
They speak loud English at everyone.
They're complaining at someone about being ripped off.
They're smiling.

Question 20:   Qu'est-ce que c'est?
C'est un stylo.
C'est la guerre!
Psycho Killer.
C'est une perte de temps.
Ceci c'est pas une pipe.

This Quiz has been designed by Ken.