Are You a Trekkie?

This test will decide once and for all if you have what it takes to claim the title "Trekkie". If you don't know what that word even means - you might not wanna take this test.

Question 1:   Do you get into heated arguments with anyone (for instance - a NASA physicist) when they say that warp speed is impossible?
No...why argue with such close-minded people?
No...Warp Speed isn't real - Star Trek is fictional.
Warp Speed? You mean like when your tires get all hot and lose traction?

Question 2:   Have you ever dressed up - in uniform - in order to "properly" attend a Star Trek Convention?
Of course! And I always wear a RED shirt!
Sometimes - depends if my friends are dressing up, too.
I would never dress up - Star Trek is fictional, ok?
Convention? You mean there are entire Conventions full of you guys?

Question 3:   Have you ever had an argument with another Trek fan over who is the better Captain - Kirk or Picard?
Yes - I say Kirk is best!
Yes - Picard is the better Captain!
Argue over a television show? Dude - get the hint - IT'S FICTION!
Kirk? Picard? What are those - types of Egyptian fruit?

Question 4:   Do you speak fluent Klingon?
No...but I know a little.
I can't believe someone actually made up an entire language!
You've got to be kidding. I'm not interested in speaking the same language as those Arab dudes.

Question 5:   Have you had your ears surgically altered to Vulcan specs?
Absolutely! Live long and Prosper!
I would if I had the money.
Now that's taking things a step too far! Listen carefully - it's a show, not a way of life!
I'm not sure what that question is asking I'll say no just to be safe.

Question 6:   Have you ever used any Trek catch-phrases in everyday conversation? For example - "Make it so" to the guy that's about to fix your car...or calling your assistant "Number One".
All the time.
Sometimes, but then I catch myself and consciously try not to again.
I don't know any catch-phrases well enough to do that.
Ok, you got me. I'm not a Star Trek fan...I just wanted to take the test to see what kind of things you geeks are up to.

Question 7:   Do you have a Trek-Themed message on your answering machine?
Yes...It starts with Picard saying "Open Hailing Frequencies"
No...but that's a good idea!
Star Trek is cool and all...but I wouldn't advertise being a nut about it.

Question 8:   Are you a member of any online Role-Playing Groups that center around Star Trek?
Yes - I am the Captain of my own ship.
Yes - I am an officer on a ship/base.
Yes - but I'm not all that active.
I want to know who these people are that answer "yes" - might be a good idea to steer clear of them!

Question 9:   Have you ever been so caught up in an episode of Star Trek that you actually tap your chest if the phone rings?
I did that a few times, but I'm better now, thanks.
I did it once...but that was a long time ago.
Now that's just ridiculous. I don't wear my combadge in the house.
Why would I tap my chest? Give me some more I have a cold?

Question 10:   Does your checkbook have a Trek theme?
Yep - I've got the Enterprise-D on every check I write!
I used to - but can't find any TOS checks anymore.
I would if I had a checking account.
Actually - that sounds neat...but I have a life - so, no.

Question 11:   When you meet someone new, do you automatically try to figure which Trek Character that person resembles?
Everytime I meet someone
Sometimes, if it's obvious.
Thanks a I WILL be doing that!
I don't know what any of them look like - so I can't do that.

Question 12:   Have you ever considered joining Starfleet Academy? (yes, you really can do that...well, sorta)
Yes...I enrolled and graduated.
I thought about it...but didn't have the money.
I might if I knew enough tech to pass.
No frigging way! You can actually do that? Liar...

Question 13:   Have any of your non-fan buddies watch episodes of Star Trek...just so they can understand you better?
Everyone at work
Some of my close friends
I convinced a girlfriend/boyfriend to watch a few episodes.
Even if I wanted to talk people into watching...wasn't it cancelled like in 1960?

Question 14:   Were you the only 12 year-old in your Astronomy class to know what gamma and cosmic rays are, quantum singularities, or quasars and pulsars?
My teacher even asked me if I was a Trekkie!
I knew some of that stuff - but not all of it.
I don't know about any of it...I don't pay enough attention to the shows to learn all that.
I don't even want to dignify that with a response...but I will anyway just to move the test along.

Question 15:   Does your computer's spell-check ignore words like: B'Elanna, Tuvok, Neelix, Borg, Klingon, Talaxian?
Yes - otherwise all my writings would be underlined in red.
Only for some of those words.
I don't even know what you just said! Are you swearing at me?

Question 16:   Do family and friends no longer ask you for a topic of discussion because they know you'll just bring up Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country AGAIN?
Yeah - they have no sense of history.
I haven't gotten that annoying yet - but they're sure to catch on soon.
If I was like that...I would have to shoot myself.

Question 17:   Do you know what a Bat'leth is?
Of course I do! Qapla!
I know I've heard the word before...some kinda knife, right?
You're messing with me now...that's not even a word, is it?

Question 18:   Do you find ridged foreheads attractive?
Ooooh, yeah!
I think they're neat...but I'm not attracted to them.
Ridged? There's a cure for's called "plastic surgery".

Question 19:   Have you ever played (or at least know how to play) 3-D chess?
I've played it before - and WON!
I've never played, but I know how to.
Never played - don't know how - but I know what you are talking about.
3-D mean like with the goggles?

Question 20:   What do you think of...George Lucas?
He's the Anti-Christ.
Nice guy - but a little misguided.
I got into an argument with a Star Wars fan once over that very topic.
He's awesome! I love that little dude - Yogurt!

Question 21:   Do you remember Ross Perot? If not, look at a picture of you think he looks like a Ferengi?
Oh wow...he sure does!
There is a little resemblance.
I don't see it.
Is "Ferengi" some kinda Trek-Talk for "midget"? If so, yeah...he sure does.

Question 22:   How many Vulcan greetings do you know?
More than 5
Between 3 and 5
One or two
Are they the ones that bash heads when they meet?

Question 23:   Here's a tough one...Scotty or LaForge?
Dude - how could you force me to make such a decision?
Scotty all the way...his accent is awesome! could you help but love that VISOR?
I'm not familiar with your friends, dude.

Question 24:   Do any of your messenger screen names contain Trek-Related words?
Most of them do, actually.
I have a couple
I don't use messenger services...but if I did, I might
That's just need help - seriously

Question 25:   Have you ever been in a situation where you've said either of the following: "Captain, she canna take any more o'this!" or "I'm givin her all she's got!"
I've used both of those
I've said one of those
I've never used either statement, but I find the idea hilarious!
I wish I knew how to help you...but you're beyond help.

Question 26:   Have you ever been watching the opening credits to any Trek show - and made up words to go with the music?
Every show from TOS to Voyager!
I did that once or twice for fun.
I started to once, but then thought maybe that would mean I was insane.
I don't watch the shows...don't like them...and anyone who would make up words to a theme song...forget it - I give up.

Question 27:   How much money have you spent on Trek-Related items? (include movies, books, and memorabilia)
Over $500
Between $250 and $500
Less than $250
Nothing...nada...move along, nutbar.

Question 28:   How many Trek-specific races can you name?
More than 10
Between 6 and 10
Between 1 and 6
Races? Are we talking Formula-One or NASCAR?

Question 29:   Do you prefer Dr. Pulaski to Dr. Crusher?
Absolutely not! Beverly rules, Pulaski drools, buddy!
I don't really have a preference.
My doctor's name is Dr. Chang...

Question 30:   Would you (or have you already) name any of your children after Trek Characters.
Yes...and my son Warf is very happy with his name.
Yes - but I used an obscure name like "Wesley" or "Will"
I would never do that...someone might catch on!
How sad is that...honestly?

This Quiz has been designed by Rob.