Grocery Store Paranoia Quiz

This quiz will take you through some feelings that you might experience if you go berserk in a supermarket.

Question 1:   If you walked into the grocery store and the theft alarm went off, what would you do?
Make stupid faces at the surveillance camera and hope to not get arrested.
Run as fast as you can, ditching your car.
Hide in the Kid-Car shopping carts.
Stand there, acting like an innocent bystander.
Wait for the manager and tell him that there has been a mistake.

Question 2:   If you happen to get really stressed in the grocery store, what would you do?
Use the Deli butcher's weapons against him and squeeze the turkey breasts until you become sane again.
Juggle the eggs until you finally start to laugh.
Take 10 deep breaths and think about something like how good the food you are buying will be.
Ask the cashier for a time warp machine.
Hug the milk cartons.

Question 3:   If you were the only one to witness an old man falling in the dairy aisle, what would you do?
Courteously help him up, and if he needs it, call an ambulance.
Laugh at him until you fall over in the same condition as he is.
Tell the lady in the aisle next to you that the old man show is starting in the dairy aisle.
Is that the father-in-law?
Take his cane and sell it for insurance purposes.

Question 4:   If the cashier told you that your credit card has expired, what would you do?
Say, "I'm sorry", and write a check instead.
Beat the living crap out of him and throw the squash that you "bought" at him.
If I can show you the Demented Penguin Dance, then will it work?
Completely ignore him and take your groceries with you.

Question 5:   If you happen to notice a man in a clown mask profoundly sniffing at the broccoli, what would you do?
Sneak up behind him and say, "Having fun, there?".
Join in the broccoli sniffing extravaganza.
Notify an employee and let the personnel take care of the situation.
Grab the 9mm out of your back pocket and start some anarchy.
Panic, panic, panic, panic!

Question 6:   If you somehow decided to go on a shoplifting rampage, what will you most likely do?
Assume that the Nefarious Banana Chums did it.
Hey you, uhhh..., manager, hold this for me, would you?
Blame it all on the mom who was trying to buy snacks for after her son's game.
Who shoplifted? I'll beat 'em down to Chinatown!
Nothing. You are nearly sure to get caught.

Question 7:   If you thought you saw a baby in a stroller's head transform into that of a falcon, what would you do?
Wait! I thought you were extinct?
Tell the mother to put a leash on that nauseating whatever-it-is.
Move far away and be confident while saying, "This is just my imagination, this is just my imagination."
Strangle it before it bites you and orders for all the peanuts in the store to be delivered immediately to it.

Question 8:   The pharmacist says that you should take a medicine that you specifically hate. What would you do?
Threaten to hit the pharmacist with milk carton and hope that they don't push the "Immediate 911" button.
Ask for an alternative. If there is no alternative, take the medicine and hope for the best.
If I don't want it, I don't want it! You heard me the first time!
Attempt to stick their head through the blood pressure machine.
Find a medicine you like and act like you are sick enough to get it.

Question 9:   If you see the sprinklers that sprinkle the fruits and veggies with water, what would you do?
Go to the body care aisle, get some soap and shampoo, and cleanse yourself in front of the whole store.
Call environmental services quickly! There's a fire!
Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Water makes you kinda have to go.
You think, Oh, it's just the water that helps the produce stay fresh.
It's the sight of a lifetime!

Question 10:   If you farted in a busy aisle, what would you do?
The beans excite my colon. It's not my fault.
Uhhhh.........what's everyone staring at?
Go and come back with the finest store wine and celebrate the occasion.
You know, geese shouldn't be let out in the wild.
Say, "Excuse me".

This Quiz has been designed by Scott Lovegreen.