Which male character from Ship of Fools are you?

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10 Questions - Developed by: Esther - Developed on: - 4.167 taken

Katherine Anne Porter's novel, Ship of Fools, is filled with flawed, self-deluded characters... though occasionally you'll find one who is a little better than the rest. Among five of the many men aboard ship, who do you most resemble?

  • 1
    You are walking along the ship's deck and notice a disturbance among the lower class ruffians in steerage. What is your reaction?
    Is there some illness that is making them distraught? I should go down to investigate.
    It makes my stomach tighten a little to see them. Shrug. They have the short end of the stick in life, just like me...
    Steerage? Who cares... did you just see that foxy Spanish dancer walk by? Hubba hubba...
    You see, my dear, they are the perfect example of people who were not disciplined properly as children. Poor souls. How ever do you deal with them?
    You wish you could whip out a machine gun and just... or if it's illegal to kill them (sigh) maybe you could bind them in heavy layers of chain with heavy padlocks...
  • 2
    What is your marital status?
    Women? What foolish ridiculous creatures... they should be kept in place.
    I'm married. My wife's ashore. I probably won't get too tempted, travelling alone like this; at least I hope I won't.
    Women are like little children, but I have a darling wife whom I've trained well and she's so devoted to me and aids me in my work.
    I'm a single, swinging bachelor out for some tail.
    I'm locked in a tormenting relationship with a woman; it's not marriage, it has none of the dignity of marriage but all of the possessiveness and confinement.
  • 3
    What ailment do you suffer from?
    Some body acne, though I try very carefully to look clean
    A weak heart
    Ulcers, gastrointestinal troubles.
    A chronic scowl
  • 4
    What is your dancing style?
    The girl I want to dance with is always ALWAYS with someone else... AARGH... that's it, I'm going to get drunk.
    I'm too plump to dance well, though I do have some surprising pep between the sheets...
    I want to save my energy for treating the illnesses on board.
    Dancing is for fools. I'd rather skulk at the sidelines and see who else is a fellow outsider... though I won't go and talk to any of them, of course.
    Dance? I'd rather pace on the bridge of the ship and imagine that I'm a fearsome admiral ready to rip out the guts of some enemy ship!
  • 5
    Do you have any pets?
    No, but I have enough compassion to treat a pet well.
    Yes, a little white bulldog who gets seasick easily.
    Everyone on board is my pet, and I am their master.
    My girlfriend sometimes acts like a puppy and it makes me sick.
    No, pets are dirty, and I have to take care to keep myself clean and odor-free just in case I get a pass from the girl I'm lusting after.
  • 6
    What's the most embarrassing thing that happens to you aboard ship?
    One time, at the table, my wife openly contradicts me! How dare she, after I've lectured her so many times, and so politely, on what is required of a good and faithful wife?
    I have this horrible fit of sneezing that turns my face a blood-angry red.
    I find myself attracted to a dangerously immoral woman... sigh. Why can't I be stronger than this?
    I catch my girlfriend fooling around drunkenly with another man.
    A woman beats my face and head with her high heel shoe... lousy women...
  • 7
    What are your favorite kinds of movies?
    Movies are usually silly claptrap dished out like tripe to gullible fools.
    American gangster films. Except, if I made them, the police would have the machine guns and mow everyone down...
    No horror movies. I wouldn't want a heart attack.
    Films that remind me of my pleasant, orderly fatherland.
    Any movie where the women wear skin-tight dresses... oh, yeah....
  • 8
    What's your major weakness?
    I can't seem to pass an evening alone without getting hammered.
    I'm not harsh enough in my disciplinary measures
    Surrounding myself by fools who hold me back
    I'm a moral, upstanding man who can't seem to not be enticed by a decadent woman.
  • 9
    How do you pass the afternoon aboard ship?
    Planning how I'll move in on the woman I've got the hots for.
    Some quiet reading, some rounds among the ill on board.
    Dreaming of new ways I can punish wrong-doers on the ship.
    Painting... or at least trying to paint... I keep getting distracted by my girlfriend, who thinks she can actually be an artist.
    Walking with my wife and bulldog on deck.
  • 10
    You have to take a woman out on a date. Where do you go?
    Pretend to be tourists maybe but not get much out of it... no real inspiration to paint, anyway...
    I don't want to spend money on women! I just want to find a motel, have them pay for the room, and... you know.
    I give her a tour of the ship and tell her to refrain from asking silly questions.
    I take her to a small club to watch the dancers and rakishly comedic entertainment.
    A large dinner at some wonderful restaurant, after which we undress our massive bodies and make love.

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