Class 101: A Guide To Zombie Survival

  1. Developed by: Blake Salisbury

This is a beginning course and is intended to affirm your understanding of the undead menace. So, with that said, let's begin!

Question 1: What is a Zombie?
A half-man, half-beast monster that roams the fields on a full moon.
A dead person risen from the grave that eats human flesh.
Your neighbor Stan.
An immortal that drinks human blood.
A pointy-eared man with a pitchfork.

Question 2: How do you kill a zombie?
Shoot spit balls at it.
Shoot it with silver bullets.
Burn it alive.
Destroy the brain.
Destroy the heart.

Question 3: Is there a cure for Zombie-ism?
Maybe. It all comes down to a genetic level.
Cure...? Who wants a cure?
No. Once infected, there is no hope.
Yes, but you have to remove the infected body part.
Yes. You can buy the antidote at Rite-Aid.

Question 4: Is the infection lethal?
Yes, but it has a 50% mortality rate.
Yes. It has a 100% mortality rate.
Brains.... BRAINS!
No. The infection does not kill off the infected.
I don't know.

Question 5: Can zombies run?
No. The infection cripples their coordination.
Yes. All zombies are Olympic sprinters.
BRAINS!

Question 6: What causes the infection?
You...
Your mother.
Witch doctors.
The devil.
A virus.

Question 7: Can zombies talk?
No. Zombies are to dumb to speak any language.
Yes. All national spelling bee finalists are zombies.
BRAINS! NEED BRAINS!
Yes, but with a limited vocabulary.

Question 8: What is normally used to kill a zombie?
Ash trays.
Shotgun.
Katana.
Baseball bat.
Shovel.

Question 9: Is this method correct?
No. It is very ineffective.
Yes. In all field tests it has proven to be superior.
Heck yeah! It totally owns zombies!

Question 10: Where is the stereo-typical place to hide during a zombie uprising?
Hospital.
At home in a basement.
Police station.
A pub.
Mall.

Question 11: Is this method of survival effective?
Yes. Hey, it worked in Dawn of the Dead.
No. Almost everyone in a mall dies somehow.
Yes. It is full of supplies that can make life easy.

Question 12: Assuming you didn't hide in a mall, where would you hide?
A military base.
Chuck-e-Cheese
The country side.
A super market.
The moon.

Question 13: How long does it take for a zombie to rot away?
3 to 5 years.
Never!
A millennia.

Question 14: Do zombies have super-human strength?
Yes. Field test clearly show a zombie has advanced strength.
No. They are as strong as or weaker as they were when they lived.
Yes. Zombies have been known to totally own Chuck Norris with no problem.

Question 15: Do zombies feel pain?
No. Zombies have no sense of touch.
Yes. All zombies feel everything in their surroundings, including each other!
Yes. Zombies can feel emotional pain.

Question 16: Can zombies climb?
Yes. All zombies are expert mountain climbers.
No. They lack the hand-eye coordination.
Yes, but not very well.

Question 17: When turning a house into a fortress, what is the first thing one should do?
Brick up the windows and doors.
Run up stairs and destroy the stair case.
Hide in the basement.
Hide in the attic.

Question 18: What is the best long range weapon to use against a zombie.
Sling shot.
Mortar.
Bazooka.
.22 rim fire rifle.
Rock propelled gernade (R.P.G.)

Question 19: What is the best melee weapon to use against a zombie?
A katana.
A shoe.
A great sword.
A battle axe.
A crowbar.

Question 20: What kind of food should you have during an outbreak?
Trail Mix.
Energy bars.
Lucky Charms.
Candy.
Canned food.

Question 21: What drink should you always have?
Gatorade.
Kool-aid
Bottled water.
Chocolate milk.
Vodka.

Question 22: What kind of transportation should you use during a zombie outbreak?
A van.
A tank.
A car.
A pick-up truck.
A bicycle or a dirt bike.

Question 23: What secondary weapon should you have?
A pistol with a silencer.
A chainsaw.
A sniper rifle.
Grenades.
A combat knife.

Question 24: What do zombies eat?
You....
Your mom.
Cars.
Fluffy.
People.

Question 25: When will zombies attack?
In two weeks when Umbrella unleashes them.
At any time. The threat is always there.
When cows fly.

Question 26: How strong is a zombie bite?
Stronger than a sharks bite.
So strong it can bite through Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Just as strong as when it was alive.

Question 27: Can zombies swim?
Yes. All zombies are on the Olympic swimming team.
Yes, but not well.
No. They lack the hand-eye coordination.

Question 28: In a zombie outbreak, what will be the dominate life form on Earth?
Humans.
Zombies.
Animals.

Question 29: Can animals become zombies?
Yes. Zombie animals are very real.
No. They die before they can turn.
Yes. They eat tacos.

Question 30: What is the best trait for a survivalist?
Determination.
Fear.
Hate.

t < 10 min

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The quiz is developed on: 2007-06-15

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