What Kind of Old Lady Will You Be?

Developed by: Amanda Love

Welcome to the Old Lady Quiz! Take this quiz to determine what kind of old lady you will turn out to be.

Question 1: When you see a small puppy urinating on your flowers, you...

		Run outside and kick it because it's doing it on purpose.
		Chase it with a broom because dogs are vile creatures.
		Smile and think, "What a cute puppy!"
		I don't have flowers, I have nude sculptures in my yard.

Question 2: If you could only hire one person to do something for you, who would it be?

		A pool boy who wears a blue leopard thong.
		A delivery person to bring me more cat food and kitty litter.
		A clown for my grandchildren's birthday.
		A spy to see if my neighbor is really a communist.

Question 3: What kind of drink are you?

		Milk.
		Crude oil.
		A dirty martini with 8 olives.
		Sweet iced tea or lemonade!

Question 4: What is your dream pet?

		A golden retriever.
		Cats and kittens.
		A majestic tiger from Mount Ulu-Ulu.
		An angry monkey that will throw things at my neighbors.

Question 5: What kinds of drugs have you tried in your lifetime?

		Only one drug for me baby, and that's love. And sometimes opium.
		Catnip and painkillers.
		I've tried them ALL. In fact, I'm tripping right now...Free your MIND!
		No drugs for me! But I did get drunk once.

Question 6: What would you typically have for dinner?

		A roasted chicken breast with green beans and mashed potatoes with a piece of pie for dessert.
		Tuna, chopped liver, and fish juice.
		Strawberries, hot chocolate syrup, some Michael Bolton, and you.
		A Vicodin sandwich.

Question 7: What kinds of shoes do you wear?

		Either my gardening shoes, or something flat and comfy.
		10-year old slippers.
		Combat boots.
		Stilettos with feather pomp pomps.

Question 8: What would be the most likely reason for you to go to the doctor as you age?

		I might need a hip replacement.
		I need allergy medicine from all the cat dander.
		Cancer and hallucinations.
		One boob job, please.

Question 9: What's your Friday night hot-spot?

		The animal shelter.
		Bingo at the local firehouse!
		My attic so I can smoke up and watch my neighbors.
		A bar full of 20-somethings.

Question 10: How/where would you like to be buried?

		I want my ashes to be scattered over Vegas.
		With my family, next to my husband.
		In the backyard where my cats are buried.
		I don't want to be buried. My body will mysteriously disappear and I will haunt my house forever.