| Question | Yes | No |
|
| 1. Do you trip over invisible objects? | | |
| 2. When you get angry or frustrated, do you make a noise that sort of sounds like an angry pterodactyl being strangled? | | |
| 3. Are you a chameleon? | | |
| 4. Do you swallow people's souls? | | |
| 5. Do you pout on rooftops? | | |
| 6. Have you ever gotten your foot stuck in the toilet? | | |
| 7. Did your foot get stuck in there trying to catch your magic toad named Fran? | | |
| 8. Did you rename your toad Nathanael? | | |
| 9. Do you worship the dancing worm from George Lopez? | | |
| 10. Do you swallow things you are not supposed to(marbles, coins, beads, etc.)? | | |
| 11. Do you have a pet sponge? | | |
| 12. Do you have weird urges? For example, last week I screamed, "I'm going to get castrated by the walruses!" | | |
| 13. Do you like to eat paper? | | |
| 14. Are you addicted to eating paper? | | |
| 15. Do you always feel like you are being watched? | | |
| 16. Do you open doors with your head? | | |
| 17. Have you seen James and the Giant Peach more than 10 times? | | |
| 18. Do you claim you are Bernard, the Boy who Was Raise By Bees on the Honeycomb box? | | |
| 19. Do you hit things? | | |
| 20. Do you make unnecessary loud noises when you hit things? | | |
| 21. Is your liver turning green? | | |
| 22. Are your toenails falling off? | | |
| 23. Do you claim you have a wrist disease so people don't whine at you for being bad at sports? | | |
| 24. Do you believe you are the chosen one? | | |
| 25. Do you try things you see on Seinfeld? | | |
| 26. When you hear the name Charles Manson, do you think of monkeys? | | |
| 27. When you hear the word eggs, do you think of people with their shirts off? | | |
| 28. Until recently, did you think John Wayne Gacy (the serial killer clown) was a celebrity? | | |
| 29. Does your math teacher claim she is a wolf? | | |
| 30. When you see any object, do you picture it sprouting chicken legs and running away? | | |
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