Are the aliens coming for you?

Well, the first question you have to ask yourself is: Would the Aliens want you? If you think you're worth the time to abduct, then take this test and see whether you're scheduled for an encounter of the third kind.

Question 1:Have you been picking up strange voices on your inter-stellar radio lately?
Yes, they're calling my name....I must go to them.....
Um, I don't have an inter-stellar radio
Who wants to know? Who're you working with, eh? What'd they pay yah?
Question 2:Are there strange geometric patterns in your cornfield?
No. The corn is fine.
Um, I don't have a cornfield....sorry.
Yes...they're coming for me!
I ain't tellin you, you could be one of them government agents who's gonna take me into a lab.
Question 3:Have bright lights been hovering over your house?
I don't have a house. I'm a bum on the street. I have a cardboard box, though.
Uh, no. Not really.
Look buddy I don't know who you been talkin to...
Yes! They're coming! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Question 4:Have you ever been abducted before?
Maybe, maybe not. Who wants to know?
Um, I probably wouldn't remember...
Yes! They're coming to get me again!
Question 5:Have government agents been questioning you concerning the strange radio frequencies directed at your house?
I am a government agent and I resent the insinuation that we investigate paranormal activities. Now get in the car, I'm taking you in.
Yes! They won't leave me alone! I don't know why the aliens are after me, honest!
You bugged? I bet you are you slimy weasel. You're working for the feds, aren't you?
Question 6:Do the neighbors avoid you and whisper behind their hands about strange activities in and around your house?
Wouldn't you like to know. I'm not tellin you nothin.
Yes. *Sniff* I don't know why they care. The flashing lights and high pitched noises aren't directed at them.
Yah, a while back this kid spread some rumors...Well, anyway, to make a long story short, I got friends. Kapiesh?
No. I'm perfectly ordinary.
Question 7:Do dogs sniff your house and run away yelping?
No, I have three dogs.
No...I ate them. They never got a chance to run away.
Yes! I'm sad...I like dogs. Why are they always scared of me?
Yah, like I'm gonna tell you. Buzz off.
Question 8:Are your television, radio, and phonelines regularly disrupted by static that sounds suspiciously like: Take me to your leader ?
No, the static always says : shsshhshI'm comingforyoushsshhshsshshs
Yes! I've been trying to figure out what it means. I asked around, but they got me a shrink who made me take pills.
Yah, real funny joker. Don't make me call my friends.
No. I have excellent reception.
Question 9:Have you been subliminally conditioned to obey all commands from Commander Xatrophgtr23?
Who the @#!% is Xatrophgtr23?
Yes, I must obey...must obey....must....obey....obey....must
I think so but I'm not sure. It happens a lot. Can't even remember who subliminally conditioned me this week.
Question 10:Do cats talk to you in garbled, computer-like english?
Ya, all the time. It's fun, except when the neighbors see me talking to my cat.
I hate cats. I eat them. They never get a chance to talk.
Didn't I tell you to buzz off? Whaddya want with my cat?
No. My cats don't talk to me at all.
Question 11:Has a large disk-shaped flying object attempted to pick you up with it's tractor beam?
I don't have any tractors. What.....where am I?
Funny you should ask really, because that happened just last week.
Whaddya think, I'm crazy or sumptin? Who you been talkin to?
Question 12:How often do you see U.F.O.'s?
All the time. Why can't they leave me alone? Why? Why?
No way I'm telling you.
Once I saw one, though the feds told me it was a weather balloon. Yah right. A weather balloon.
Never. There's a logical explanation for everything.
Question 13:What do the aliens say to you?
Well, they don't talk to me all that much, they like my sister better. Everyone likes her better. *Sniff*
Nothing. Aliens aren't real.
Well well well. You'd like to know. But I'm not tellin.
They say to prepare for total domination and slave labor in the mines of their homeworld.
Question 14:Does the government watch your house?
Yes. They have antenna all over the place. I can't water the garden without tripping over a few agents.
Not to my knowledge.
Only sporadically. I'm not really that interesting.
Who are you working for?
Question 15:Do your neighbors call you to complain about those darn flashing lights and to turn them off or they'll call the police?
Um, yes, sometimes. But they're only my strobe lights. I turn them on to scare away monsters
No and if they did I'd ask my alien buds to turn more lights on
Yes, those darn aliens just keep hovering over my house in their space-ships. Not only is it the bright, glaring light, but the noises! Oh, the loud, terrifying noises!

This Quiz has been designed by Xanatos the Fluffy the earth-kitten. No.....The scary monster who's going to eat you? Well, pick one already!.