For Monkeys: Where is your ideal habitat?

Are you a monkey? Or are you a human who would like to live like a monkey? Take this quiz and find out where your ideal habitat would be located.

Question 1:What are your thoughts on humans?
I like it when they pet my fur and feed me monkey food.
I like to fling poo at them!
Humans? Where? My ideal home doesn’t have any of those.
Some of them know how to make some very good drinks!
Question 2:What are your favorite lazy day activities?
Swinging from trees, picking fleas and ticks out of my fur, and partying with other monkeys in the treetops. Perhaps taking naps too.
Sticking my tongue out at the humans, building a pile of poo in the corner and taking naps.
Making mixed drinks, experimenting with new drink recipes, drinking banana daquiris, and eating bananas soaked in rum.
Watching the Discovery Channel, looking at monkey porn on the internet, and taking naps.
Question 3:In your opinion, what is the most important use for a tail?
It makes me look pretty.
It is useful to swing from trees with.
It helps to cover my monkey butt so the humans quit staring and pointing.
It helps me keep my balance when I’ve been drinking too much.
Question 4:What kind of foods are your favorite?
Beer nuts, cashews, anything served during happy hour, and fruit soaked in rum/tequila/vodka/etc.
Macaroni and cheese, monkey biscuits, bananas, mangos, garden burgers, and other stuff that can be purchased at a regular grocery store.
Freshly picked fruit. Bananas, mangoes, kiwi, apricots, and more.
Monkey biscuits, kibble, fruit, whatever. Food is not a big deal.
Question 5:You would prefer to:
Lay around all day and have my tummy rubbed and my ears stroked.
Observe humans all day and stick my tongue out at them. At night, I like to be a party animal.
Leasurely relax in the treetops under the open sky.
Go bar-hopping or hang out in my favorite bar drinking banana daquiris and margaritas.
Question 6:Your fur is always:
In fairly good condition, with maybe a flea or tick here and there.
Silky soft, well-groomed and clean.
Wet from accidentally spilling a drink on myself. When that happens, I give myself a tongue bath.
Fleas and ticks are usually present, but I will pick them out and eat them.
Question 7:When you 'go to the bathroom', what is your policy?:
I’ll just hang my monkey butt over a tree limb and let stuff fall to the ground. No mess for me to deal with and it fertilizes the soil.
I will use a bar restroom or quiet corner booth.
I’m not shy. I’ll just do it in front of humans and other monkeys. Perhaps I’ll fling some poo towards them. I even have a collection of poo in the corner. It makes good emergency ammo against some evil vets.
Be polite and use a newspaper or go quietly in a corner. (Possibly even the toilet is used!)
Question 8:Fleas and ticks are:
Delicious when soaked in Jose Cuervo or Bacardi 151.
Usually banished by the vet.
Nowhere to be found. I get regular flea and tick treatments.
Itchy and annoying. I can pick them out of my fur and snack on them.
Question 9:What are your thoughts regarding the Discovery Channel?
I am a huge fan of their nature shows.
I do not own a television and/or I do not watch TV.
They show cute monkeys on that show sometimes. I am lusting after a spider monkey on one of their shows that has such cute ears and paws. I’d bet that monkey would be fun to have a daquiri with.
I prefer observing other primates and humans in real life.
Question 10:If there was one thing that you could change about the world, it would be:
Free alcohol for all primates.
No more experiments on animals.
Never again would a rainforest be destroyed.
More television shows about primates.

This Quiz has been designed by Sarah.