Not a Real Psycho Test

Don't take this seriously, if I had a Phd I wouldn't be writing tests for a blinkin' website.

Question 1:How do you feel about your birth name?
Love it!
Never really thought about it
Hate it. Hate my parents. Blood.
Dislike it, but that's not why I dress like Boy George.
Question 2:Do you mumble incoherently in private when things upset you?
Heck no!
Well, sometimes
It's not me, it's the voices!
Question 3:Have you ever hurt a loved one with out provacation (physically, mentally, spiritually, sexually)?
Dear me, no.
They always deserved it.
Yes, and I feel terrible about it.
Yes, and I'd do it again, and again, and again.
Question 4:The longest meaningful relationship you have had with a member of the opposite sex (or same, I suppose), who was NOT a family member was?
Never. People scare me into the dark recesses of alleyways.
Less than 6 months
6 months to a year
Between a year or two
Longer than two years (ie marriage, tied up person in basement, etc).
Question 5:The color purple...
Makes me scream in pain.
Reminds me of a Prince film.
Is for faggots.
is for Royalty
is the color of my underpants.
Question 6:Have you ever seriously considered taking your own life?
A couple of times.
Several times.
Already took it.
Question 7:Have you ever seriously considered taking someone else's life?
A couple of times.
One step ahead of ya!
Question 8:Have you ever hurt, mamed, or killed an animal under your care ON PURPOSE?
The toaster did it.
Yes, but I feel just awful.
Thanks for bringing it up.
Yes, that's the reason for keeping pets, right?
Question 9:Have you ever stayed in a relationship just because you could manipulate the person you were with?
Not to my knowledge.
Yeah, but I got help.
Yeah, but we got married.
Yeah, then I take them into the basement and...
Question 10:Do you feel you have been chosen by whatever higher power to relieve the world of the plague of humanity?
I was I little messed up in college
Yes, but now I take happy blue pills!!!
Just waiting for the signal.
The wheels are in motion.
Question 11:During the course of your life, you have had how many imaginary friends?
One, it was innocent
One, and it destroyed my family
Several, but I knew/know now they were fake.
Aren't we all just a little imaginary?
Question 12:You have cross-dressed before because...
Back the truck up, I've never cross-dressed.
I was curious
Still am curious
I was supposed to be born that way! It's not fair!
Question 13:I have used what I considered excessive amounts of the following drugs: LSD Meth Tar Smack Mary Jane Shrooms Pot Dope Crack Poop Mr. Sniff Smelly MarkersTM
No sir, I'm clean (sniff)
Yeah, good times
Yeah, worse mistake of my life
I'm currently on life support, to answer your question.
I have to stop the Gnomes before they reach the enchanted forest!
Question 14:Close your eyes and press really hard on them with your palms. What do you see?
May father with an axe through his head
Molten lava.
Question 15:You have checked your pulse to see if you are dead how many times in the passed week?
Every waking hour
The undead have no pulse.
Question 16:Are you, or have you ever been immortal?
I bare the mark!
My ways are not for mere mortal minds.
Squid spelled backwards is Diuqs.
Question 17:The reason I'm unhappy is usually...
my fault
because of external sources beyond my control
I was cursed by a gypsy.
people still refuse to bow to me
I choose to me happy ALL the time. tee hee!
Question 18:Sex is...
an impossible dream.
Question 19:My parents...
did the best the could with me.
were verbally and/or physically abusive
do not exist/do not apply
were mauled by a circus bear named Tiny
are the source of my pain
Question 20:I have killed:
No people! Thanks valium!
No People...subject to change
1-5 people
6 or more people
but I didn't like it.
Question 21:Would you say you know most of the geography of planet Earth?
Yeah, sure.
I know the US pretty good.
Theres a really cool sedimentary rock formation in Melbourne I take my fiance up to on weekends.
What kind of stupid question is that?
I almost answered a question with a question, but realized the person who asked the question in question could never be questioned.
Question 22:Violence is...
required to communicate effectively
a state of mind, man.
niether bad nor good
Question 23:The thanksgiving turkey is...
half full
half empty
a reminder that unrighteous hegemony can always be turned into a seemingly good natured tradition.
used for sexualy gratification
Question 24:Your deep, personal thoughts you find...
half full
half empty
them scary
can be used for sexualy gratification
Question 25:The public bathroom is...
to be avoided at all costs...even the life of Great Grandmother Sue.
a great meeting place for hot dates
a secluded arena for my dark rituals
where I live
used for sexual gratification.
Question 26:A knife implies...
all must die
Question 27:When travelling on a public bus, you over hear a conversation between two women. They are both complaining about the uselessness of their husbands, but it is obvious to you they take their partners for granted. You walk up to them and say...
Way to go sister!
Want to see my tool collection?
Does this bus stop on 17th Street?
Shut the (insert colorful, personalized word here) up!
Hello. What ever I say has no relevancy at all, and is not a reflection of my mental state. Further more, to think so and to analyze myself in that manner is simply a waste of my valuable time. Good day!
Question 28:Are you embarrassed by the way you look?
No, I'm physically superb.
No, but my significant other is.
Yes, and I keep trying to change my appearance by wearing a Cat in the Hat hat, but to no avail.
No, because I make others look worse than me with my knives.
Once, I ate a hamburger in Mexico, and it was kind of crunchy so I figured it had bacon in it or something, but it was really just the chef's fingernails...which happened to be attached to his fingers.
Question 29:You would describe your bladder control as:
In need of repair
a once a week bedwetter
a fortress of unbelievable power
a loose hinge to your soul
God's gift to women.
Question 30:You realize this test:
Will prove to you once an for all you are clinically insane.
Was forged by monks in the meridian of time.
Has adverse affects on the local weather system.
Took too long to take.
Is 10 times more absorbant than the leading brand!

This Quiz has been designed by Lance Rath.