Awww 🥰

Sometime in elementary school (primary for UK), I told one of my friends that I liked a boy named Robert because of his hair. I think it was in or before third grade/year four, but I don’t remember. I think I also liked him in fifth grade/year six, but in sixth grade/year seven, I liked a boy named Christopher. He was tall, blond, had blue eyes, and liked Minecraft. But he turned out being a total jerk, so I stopped liking him.

In the beginning of seventh grade/year eight, I started to like a boy named Jonas. I thought he was cute.

Fast-forward to orchestra class, where we were allowed to sit wherever we wanted. When we got our chair order results back (basically an audition to see who would sit where during concerts), two violists moved to their real chair order seats even though they could sit wherever they wanted. Their names were Tushar (he sat directly to my left) and Laurenz (he sat to the left of Tushar). I liked Tushar at first, but he was a jerk.

Sometime later, I developed a crush on another guy named Christian. I had a crush on him for the rest of the year and a bit into the summer.

In December, a lot of things changed. All of my crushes, except for Christian and Laurenz, had stopped. I ultimately liked Laurenz more. He’s cute, smart, funny, really nice, popular, athletic (he plays basketball), and plays the viola and the guitar. Popularity and athleticism don’t matter to me much though. I only started liking him because he was around. And I still like him. It’s been seven months.

Christian, however, is my good friend. I used to like him as a crush, and for a short amount of time during the summer, I thought I liked him more than Laurenz. But Christian friendzoned me. I then decided to also tell Laurenz how I felt, as I’d already told Christian, and why not the other crush? So I texted him.

Our text conversation was a mess of me trying (and failing!) to flirt, and him responding calmly and coolly. He was perfectly fine with me having a crush on him, as I asked him not to judge me, and later, he said (when we were talking about a field trip we’d had a long time ago) that we should be on the same bus next time. It sounded suspiciously like he had a crush on ME, so I asked him if he liked me, and he said a little bit. I melted on the inside. (Later I asked him to confirm and he still said yes. I kept melting 😂)

As of now — it’s still summer — I text him once or twice a week, but I wouldn’t want to annoy him, so I try not to text very often. And when I do, I just text him something funny I found. But I’m still confused.

I’m confused because we both know we like each other, but since it’s summer, we haven’t been able to see each other. I don’t know what he wants. I don’t know quite how much he likes me. Does he have a big crush on me, or just a little tiny baby one? Does he want to be my boyfriend or stay friends even though we have crushes on each other? How does he feel on that? If we did date, would we be able to handle it? Would he care about me as much as I care about him? Does he think about me endlessly, like I do about him? Would my parents even allow me to date at my young age (I’m the oldest, so there’s no set boundaries yet)? Would his (he’s an only child)?

I don’t really know. At least I’ll get to see him in three weeks... we’re going to the same educational camp together. I hope we have the same classes together, because we haven’t gotten our schedules yet.

Also, I don’t know which religion he is, because that’s a big deal for me, and if he’s a different religion, then my parents definitely won’t let me date him, IF HE WANTS TO DATE. I heard that at the beginning of the year, he didn’t want to get a girlfriend, but that was before he met me. I didn’t want a boyfriend either, but that was before I met him... I want to at least spend time with him more but idk what he wants...

I also remember a lot of things he said and did that, looking back, were signs he liked me.
1. He smiled at me.
2. Whenever we made eye contact, it felt really good and it looked like he was enjoying looking at me too.
3. I think sometimes he ignored me a little bit. Sometimes people ignore you when they like you; it’s weird.
4. Once when we were playing around, he put his hands on his hips at one point. This is a sign that someone likes you — usually a boy does this around a girl he likes.
5. He sat really close to me once when the teacher let us sit wherever in English class. He watched what I was doing. We were so close that we were almost touching.
6. However, I was the one who sat next to him in English class and he asked me one day what I was doing (or something like that), and I said, “I don’t know. What AM I doing?” or something like that. I said something flirty. That’s what I remember. And then he got all quiet. He seemed really shy.
7. In fact, he got all quiet and shy whenever I flirted with him. When I touched his elbow playfully, telling him he was funny; telling him my favourite memory was making people laugh, especially him — he got all shy. He’s normally an extrovert.
8. When I was around, some of his friends asked him who he liked and he just squirmed.
9. Once we had a night where we both had the same extracurricular activity, and he said, “see you tonight.”
10. He seemed happy when I hung around him.
11. He showed off. Once when someone criticized his body around me, he said, “yeah well it’s perfectly fine.”
12. I made him laugh.
13. I think I’ve caught him staring at me sometimes, and we both maintained eye contact and grinned at each other 🥰

Yep.


Anyway, if you guys have any advice for this confusing situation, please leave a comment below! 🙃