My Journey: Ballet

Hello, welcome to this blog I started for no specific reason.
Do I have no words better to start this than hello?
I recently realized my desire to become a ballet dancer. I also realized that most professionals start lessons by ten, at least the girls. I've only been taking lessons for around four months, but I have been practicing my pliés and other ballet...things? Moves? Dance moves? and writing down corrections like "turn out your leg a little more from the hip" which I was originally inspired to do by the Dare to Dance blog.
So I wrote "Advice" because I wanted just that--advice. ( Thanks Maya, Ashleigh, Elise and all future people ) Being a... shy? Introverted? Self-conscious? All of the above? person, I wondered what to do. Would this dream change like acting did? (Acting actually changed to this.) While I was practicing today, I asked myself "if I don't at LEAST try to become a ballet dancer, will I regret it?" And I immediately answered myself, "yes." I still love acting. I just would prefer to dance all day than act all day.

Excuse my bad French knowledge of spelling in this next paragraph. (I'm a good speller normally! But the only knowledge of French spelling I have comes from the American Girl Grace books, which I have not read in... forever.)
I was practicing my padushas a few days ago when I realized that I wasn't sure if it was padusha or padaborea. The first part of the recital dance (that I was able to be in because of quarantine. I suppose I can find one good thing about quarantine--I now love ballet!) was arabesque padusha. The movement seemed similar, although if I learned padusha by itself it might not. I thought back to one of the lessons... so I could remember the teacher saying "padaborea" when we did well, the padaborea, and padusha after the arabesque...

Before the ballet lessons, I did not really know much about ballet. I had the ballet lessons that I have exactly one memory of being in the studio or wherever it was, when the drama I go to had classes for the fall, one lady taught us some basic dance (which I didn't realize was ballet until a few days or weeks ago) and I randomly watched Strictly Ballet on YouTube last fall, and my cousin "taught" me a tiny bit of ballet, but she was between the age of 8 and 11, so it was nothing like the actual classes.

Right before the Zoom recital...
I had been taking lessons for two months, but hadn't the other girls been doing this for months before me? My thoughts swirled about how I wouldn't be good enough, that I would do terrible... it was going to be recorded, and so would my epic failure! but I still opened the computer. We started warming up away from the barre, and by the time we first practiced the dance my fears had started melting away. We practiced the dance about three times before it was recorded, and I was smiling. I had been planning on telling my mom I had decided to switch back to hip hop, but this... I originally put it in my pros/cons list (for staying in ballet or switching to hip hop) as "it has a weird kind of freedom," although I switched it to "an odd kind of freedom" today. But it is not odd. I suppose it just... is.

Thanks for reading my plotless rambling! I will keep on writing, but not on any specific days since allthetests takes a few days to publish anything, and my schedule is subject to spontaneous decisions that take me from a walk near the house to... okay you get the point.