The weight

Preschool
Everything was okay
I had two best friends
We had school together
Everything was okay

Kindergarten
Everyone was friends with everyone
Everything was okay

First grade
Everything was okay

Second grade
Everything was okay

Third grade
I thought I had it bad because I got the strict teacher
Everything was okay

Fourth grade
By the end I finally got tested for the Gifted and Talented program
Everything was okay

Fifth grade
According to my district, after this I was done with elementary, yay
Everything was ok

Sixth grade
Back to elementary
I transferred to my new school, a charter, not in the district
Everything was okay
Not even my “friends” there I knew before I transferred talked to me
I eventually made friends though
And everything was okay
That year was amazing
So many good memories
Being the new girl wasn’t so bad
And eventually I felt like I had always been there
Got to be a rep in NJHS Everything was okay

Seventh grade
Was excited after an amazing previous year
Made amazing friends, reconnected with ones a grade ahead since 7-8 were somewhat mixed
Participated in the school musical
Was in the musical for my drama class
Was in the National Junior Honor Society, now elected as secretary
Was in student council, now elected as secretary
At church, I was chosen as President over my class in that January
I chose my presidency, my counselors and secretary, and I planned activities and lessons, as I happened to be the oldest in my class, I felt like I was important
Like the girls I presided over looked up to me

But

It
Was
Too
Much

It started draining me faster than I could plug it
I enjoyed everything I did
But the days where I have meetings for NJHS in the morning, student council in the afternoon, a rehearsal, then having to help with the school dance for student council and NJHS just every so slightly started to take a toll

And I tried to still have a social life
And a family life
And relax
And learn Spanish on my own
And do my homework
And school in general
And keep my room clean
And deal with my worsening breathing problems
And deal with my now apparent non-diabetic hypoglycemia
And get enough sleep despite likely having a disorder
Oh and did I mention softball?


At some points in the third quarter I realized I don’t have to deal with all this crap. I don’t have to kill myself over trying to please everyone
I allowed myself to skip a homework or two when I physically and mentally too exhausted to do anything

Hurt me every time



Then it hit

It closed school, cancelled the production I was in the middle of for theatre class, the one that I had gotten the biggest role I’ve ever gotten to date in, and suddenly it just dropped everything except school

And everything was okay

Summer
After seventh grade and online school ended
Everything was okay
I couldn’t exactly go many places
But that was okay
I could relax
I had more free time
I was free
At least that’s what it felt like then

Even better,
My best friend and I grew way closer, at a time where we couldn’t even see each other in person
Stay up late texting each other until 1 am
FaceTime each other while we are both making cookies
Everything was okay

Eventually
We both learned
That both our parents
Had decided
To look
Into

Moving.
To another state.

Thank goodness it happened to be the same state.

It was okay

As long as we both moved, it would only be a three-four hour drive
As opposed to a 10-12 hour drive if we didn’t

Everything was okay

We came to each other’s houses a lot

We texted a lot

We called a lot

Then she moved
Now she is about to go to her new house

We already decided to FaceTime and call a ton, this relationship isn’t dying over someone moving
So it’s okay, right?

During this time,
I started online school for 8th grade
At my new school
Yup I decided to transfer again
I transferred before I knew I would be moving by the end of the year if not sooner
Probably would have done it anyway

Classes were fine
A bit annoying having to record myself. Since I happened to get some of the worst classes for online. But they were classes I wanted.
So it’s okay

Now I’m almost starting in person school

I get to be the new girl
It will be okay
Especially if I end up moving in two months anyway

Then I’ll get to be the new girl again

That time
I won’t have anything to fall back on
I won’t know anyone there already


But being the new girl always gives attention to you, helps you meet new people right?
It will be okay

It will be okay
It will be okay
It will be okay

Is it going to be okay?