My Hectic Love Life

Backyard Kissing

So, I lived (live) next door to my first crush/boyfriend. Oh, and I was 5 when this happened. I first met him when he moved next door.
Me and my sister were playing in a kid's sprinkler when he came around the bush and introduced himself and asked if he could hang out with us.
After a few weeks, he convinced me to kiss him in the backyard. I wanted to kiss him only on the cheek. But he always convinced me to kiss him on the lips. I always did. *eyeroll*
I remember one time, I "accidentally" left the bathroom door open while I was going to the bathroom. He ended up seeing my crotch.
Another time, I think the same day, actually, we pretended to be dating, so I was in only underwear and we lay on the floor with a blanket covering us. -_- stupid 5 year old me. Yeah, I got busted.
Now, we hate each other. He ended up telling me that he only manipulated me and made out with me so he could PET MY FUCKING CAT. I also infected his eye twice. ._.

Minecraft and Basements

I am now 10-11 when I meet Ben. He is looking for my sister, for some reason. We still don't know why. Anyway, me and my friend Sofia are sitting on her trampoline when one of the cutest boys we've ever seen bikes up to the sidewalk and asks if we've seen a girl named Kate (my sister).
I, trying to be a good big sister, slams my fist into my hand and asks why he wants to know. He took off his helmet (that's when Sofia stopped liking him, she later said he had a chin like Dracula) to come sit with us.
I ended up going to his house almost everyday to play Minecraft with him in his basement bedroom. Sometimes, we'd kiss each other on the cheek. *i need to stress the cheek part. very badly* But he wanted a kiss on the lips, which I didn't want.
One day, when he wanted it so badly, he PINNED ME DOWN. I kept moving my head so he couldn't kiss me. I hated him since.

Grade 5 Crush Catastrophe

In fifth grade, I was best friends with this girl named Victoria. Sometimes we'd hang out at the park, sometimes the field, sometimes the compound. One day, we were near a cluster of trees next to the compound playing Truth or Dare with twins Aiden and Brodie.
It was my turn, but I couldn't tell them apart, so I just said Brodie's name. Now, at this point, I didn't have a crush on him. But when he said "Truth", and I asked "who do you like" (in that way) and he avoided it like the plague, I still didn't. It was at lunch recess when I asked "who do you have a crush on?" He RAN.
Victoria chased him and Aiden ran up next to me and told me he liked me. I stopped to take it in.
Aiden and Victoria started liking each other, too. They'd sit in the back corner and hold hands when we were on the carpet. Me and Brodie weren't ready yet. But, what we did do, was walk around at recess and tell stories of going on a Disney yacht and killing a girl we hated, ruining Aiden and Victoria's wedding, stealing their child and getting married on Hawaii. Or something like that.
He even almost took me on a "date"! He wanted to take me to see a junior hockey team, but he ended up telling me he didn't like me anymore on a Friday afternoon, during bus buddies. ;-;
I didn't hate him, we were mutual friends. Then my friend Krystel started liking him.

Bisexual Bitch

Grade 6 and 7 was a "wonderful" time. I had a crush on a guy named Sam who didn't like me back. He called me a slut, Krystel and MIlla spread a rumor (that was true) that I had sent an email to Krystel entitled "Sam and Boys", I told him I liked him, like, 4 times. Also, I was bisexual.
I had been bisexual for awhile, I just didn't notice it. Or realize. I've always stared at girls. Not like "ooh, I want to be her friend", or whatever. More like "she's got a big butt" or "she's pretty". Ew.
But I didn't tell Sam I was bi when I sent him an email confessing I had feelings. I only told a few people. Then the number doubled when I came out as gay.

Lesbian or Queer? Oh no, Bisexuality Is Back!

So, I had come out as gay, and had been gay for awhile. Then I met Angus. All the people who were at the park that night thought it was Cohen (the guy who manipulated me). No one likes him anymore.
But, it turned out to be a funny, nice, Marvel loving guy named Angus. The minute I saw him, I thought to myself "Crap, I'm going to have a crush on this guy." Boy, was I right.
We were playing Infection when me and Angus were It. All we really did was talk. When we quit, we walked over to these two guys who I didn't really like. There was where Angus "invited me to Hawaii" and where one of the boys told Angus how to tell me he liked me. Then the boy, who we call Minion, told me he liked me. Oof.
The next night, everyone was throwing rocks at me so I would kiss Angus, which he wanted to do so they would leave me alone. I didn't, obviously. (Ps, as I'm writing this, I'm having a mental breakdown. The stress of this memory!)
I remember that me and Sofia and Kate were joking about him asking me out. Then he did!
I said yes. *another eyeroll* He walked me home, hugged me, good feelings toward him gone. Kate ended up breaking the date for me the next day.

THE END

I now hate Angus (big surprise). A few days after the break, he kept targeting me, making fun of me and creeping me out. Not to mention the fact that I get SUPER uncomfortable when I'm around him, see him or think about him.
Fortunately, I haven't seen him in awhile. Any of the boys, actually. Besides Aiden and Brodie. We still go to school together.
I am now queer and I have a crush on a really pretty girl. All the boys are behind me; in my past, hopefully forever. To think of boys as anything but friends now makes me feel grossed out. I am my sexuality because of these boys. And I could not be happier.