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Why I Haven’t Been Posting.

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5 Chapter - 927 Words - Developed by: - Developed on: - 242 taken- The story is completed

I have been an active writer, quiz creator, and whatever other names you can think of on this website for 2 years... until around June of 2020. Why was I gone?

    1
    Hello to anyone who is reading this.
    You may know me, or may not, but I am Gracie Lynn. This, of course, is not my real name, but it’s the name I go by on here.
    I have been on this website for around 2 years, I started created quizzes around a year and a half ago. I wrote a successful series on here named “Wish You Were Gone”, I made many tests, some did better than others.
    And then... in June I made my first book of my next series “The True Test”.

    and then I just... disappeared.

    I stopped going on this website.
    I stopped making quizzes.
    I stopped feeling motivated.
    I stopped.

    Why did I stop?
    What happened?
    I was growing a bit of popularity here, why did I stop?

    To be honest... I.. don’t know.

    2
    Just like a lot of us on here, we are strange Gen Z teens or kids just roaming the internet, seeing what other people have to say.

    I’m one of those teens.

    I am a teen, going into a new school in a month. A teen battling anxiety. A teen who is suicidal. I am this teen.

    If you know who I am, you know that in late 2019 I lost my loving aunt. She was so much to me.. and she lost her battle due to cancer.
    Since then, their family, my family, my life has completely changed.

    I wasn’t feeling right. I started to wonder if life is worth it. I still do.
    Then Covid hit.

    3
    My school went all virtual (which I could care less about, I love being home). My big, end of the school year trip with my wonderful friend was canceled. My toxic friend was getting to the point she was abusive.

    I found joy in little things sometimes. But the fear of loved ones passing because COVID overpowered my head, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t sleep, I would stay up past midnight when I should have gone to bed 2 hours ago just praying to God begging him to make it all okay.
    The months passed. Every day blurred together. I was uninspired, still wondering if life was worth it. Still begging God to make it all okay.
    Everyone else was okay.
    Everyone but me.

    July came around, a few days before my birthday.. and I decided to take a break from All The Tests.

    a break turned into me disappearing.

    4
    My mental health has worsened since I’ve entered this new school.
    I became suicidal.
    I suspect I’m depressed.
    I’ve made plans to end my life.
    I lost relationships with friends I loved.
    I realized I would actually die one day.

    I still am suicidal. I still make plans, I still am (probably) depressed.

    But then in December, I looked back at my last book of Wish You Were Gone.

    Beautiful comments, praising my work.
    Telling me to write more.
    Making me regret leaving.
    Why did I leave?

    Maybe I just grew apart from this and needed to move on. Maybe my mental health was dwindling and I didn’t need anything more to worry about. Maybe I just needed a break.

    All I know... is that I’m back now.

    5
    I created many accounts for mental health awareness on this website... how did I fall into a hole where I got so bad I didn’t even follow my own advice?

    I may be in a bad mental state.
    I may not want to be here.
    But I will stay... for you guys.

    Maybe nobody will read this.
    Maybe... I’m just ranting.

    But I’m back.
    I don’t know how long I will stay.
    But I’m back now.

    I am abandoning “The True Test”.
    I will write when it comes to me.
    Right now I am still unmotivated and mentally unstable. So please forgive me if I am not as active as I was before.

    the purpose of this was to inform these random people who like my tests and my writing about what happened to me.

    hey, what’s up you guys? it’s been a while. 🥺🥲

    But this is also to tell new people ( Hi, what’s up to you guys! welcome to the Gracie Lynn community 🤗, hugs for all of you) who I am, and how I’ve changed.

    God bless all of you. 🖤🖤🖤🖤

    -Gracie Lynn

Comments (4)

autorenew

47 days ago
Gracie, COVID is getting better. Scientists and Doctors have figured out the vaccine!! We're making progress. And yes, I agree with Minnesota Proud, We all love you Gracie!!!! I have a song that you might like: Look up by Joy Oladokun.
81 days ago
Gracie,
I hope you know that you are loved an amazing- your family and friends and God and your followers- all love you so much. Just remember how sad you were when you Aunt died! Your
parents and siblings (if you have siblings) will be twice as sad as that. Know that your life is precious in the eyes of Jesus. He loves you. Your family loves you. your friends love you. So do all
the people on here, commenting and reading this post. We love you Gracie Lynn.
Sincerely,
Minnesota Proud
82 days ago
Hey Gracie, we don't know each other but you seem amazing. I hope your struggles will all be washed away someday. After a storm comes a rainbow. There is light. I would like to get to know you more so we can talk. Please, don't ever kill yourself. You don't have to come back to the quiz for us. Do whatever makes you comfortable. I will try to be here more to communicate. Everything will get better. We all have our ups and downs. I'll try to be here for you. Killing yourself is not the answer. Try to think positively. It's easy for me to say since I do already. I find happiness in my days. Every day has joy. Listen to happy and upbeat music. Life is life. People come and go. If you think of happy things, you will hopefully be more cheerful. You only live once, make it worth your time. Life is short, but it's the longest thing you will experience. I'm also so so sorry about your aunt. Think of it in a better way, don't cry over memories but cherish them instead. Be glad she was here for as long as she was. Your family loves you. Please do not over-worry yourself as you are causing more stress. Smile and laugh with them all you can. You and your family are strong. We will get through this pandemic together. 💜
83 days ago
Gracie - I read your post and here's what I have to say. I don't know if this will help you or if you'll be mad at me, but here it is. You said that your family was sad when your aunt, died. So imagine how sad they'd be if you suicided yourself! Look for the bright side, the new vaccine is distributing! You only get life once, and in that life you will see pain, sorrow, sadness, happiness, love, anger, and many other emotions. I see lots of bad things happened to you and that it affected you hard. But remember, 'happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light'.