So, Star, what are you keeping in?
Gee, I don't know, it's hard to say.
Just say everything you've never said.
Okay, here's a little look inside my head
Ever since I was a kid, never really fit in
Thought I was popular, took me a while
to realize there's a difference between popular and center of attention
laughing at me, not with me
somehow I couldn't see, I blamed it on the ADD
Heart got tougher after being bullied
Shoved into the bus walls, stomped on in the aisle
Nail got ripped off, run home crying
Get bullied there too, no wait, that's called abuse.
Now my skinny little arms and legs are bleeding and bruised
I can hear her yelling at me now, inside my head
Can't turn back now, stuck with the past, can't forget or forgive
Running down the stairs, "She's going to beat the shit out of me!"
Hair tugged, head numb, makes me feel a little dumb
Kinda wish I were dead
Praying to God, telling him to just let me go
A girl like me, deserves to go to hell
"Lost inside my head, nobody can hear my yells"
Please, take me away, I don't know why you brought me here
And my parents always argue, seems like it's always my fault
Oh, I did this, did that blame me for your loss
3 AM, listen to you yell through the wall, voices drift down the hall
After a while, you get used to the cops, being at your house
Wait, she cheated on Daddy for 2 whole years?
That's not supposed to happen, what's going on here?
Daddy says he wants to die, gotta say I agree with him
Life kind of seems like it's pretty pointless
Wish stepmother would stop getting drunk, start showing me love
Maybe talk to me about how things are going
Instead of calling me a lost cause, 'cause I'm oh-so-useless
But nope, no love, just sitting in the car like strangers
Oh god, I'm scared of you, never know when I could be in danger
Should I tell someone? Nah, I'm sure it'll be okay
Just continue to run, so maybe my problems will all go away
So stepmother won't beat me, and daddy won't call me a slave
Hey, you still listening? Having fun? Bet you're glad you came!
Star, remember when you were five, and went to the hospital?
Not because you were sick or hurt,
I mean because you were too much to handle
Stay in your empty room, with your coloring book
They give you medicine in ice cream, while you color in Spongebob
See, Daddy couldn't stand taking care of you
It was making him depressed, fucking with his head
Guess if you weren't born Autistic but that ain't your fault...is it?
Oh well, that was in the past, wait- why does it still hurt?
Haha, who could forget, when you went to bio mom's you were, what, five or six? just a little kid
healthy little girl with bright clear eyes
Came back home looking like a ghost
What's a dream? what's reality? I'm wrapped in a lie
Locked you in your room, so you could watch mindless cartoons
Only in kindergarten, but you've been to like twelve different schools
Backed against the wall, she's about to slap you with a shoe
why does everyone want to hurt this poor little girl!
Get a little older, see the world a little clearer
You'd think that would help, but Nah, trapped in my mind
it's like a prison cell, being alive is actual hell
wait sorry, can I say that?
Guess it doesn't really matter, my existence is a sin
Sorry, God, that I fucked up, could I still gain your love?
You're the only one who listens, but what do I give you?
Hm, nothing, sorry for being such a disappointment!
I'm praying to you asking for my happiness
Cutting my hands, slicing my hips, hope this takes away the emptiness
Sometimes I'm angry with you, why do you hurt good people?
or, better question, why didn't you make me a good person?
People telling me I got a heart of gold, thanks,
but my heart just feels cold, lashing out, because of the cracks and burns
kind of an asshole, I don't mean to make people hurt
trying to be better, but me being here makes everything worse
You know what sucks?
When you can relate with pretty much everyone
find yourself in the lyrics of every sad song
because you've been through every fucking problem on the Earth!
Sexual assault? Yup, check that off the list
Your best friend's dad got a foot fetish
Take that out on you, try to push him away, scared and crying
"I'll go get Faith" you tell him, maybe he'll stop, you're trying
"You can wake her up if you suck my cock"
What the fuck, who put this guy on Earth?
I'm so tired of being hurt, traumatized, no wonder I want to die.
And I've been through a lot, believe it or not
A couple times, people looked into my eyes, and they look so scared
I kind of wonder, what did they see in there?
Could they see the pain, the storm, my endless war?
"Yeah, I'm just fine" they don't need to know it hurts
Heartbreak? Damn, that's a wild ride
Kind of regret love, wish I never tried
So, who do we start with?
Gosh, I don't know, it's not pretty, but I'll go down the list.
Hey, let's start with the guy who only loved your body
He says it was more than that
but what kind of guy knows what you sleep in, but not your favorite color?
Think all he wanted was to fuck you, yeah, probably
You'd sit in bed, and rip up pictures
Throwing things at the wall, feelings are really twisted
sobbing into your pillow, screaming,"Why'd you do this, you bitches!"
Too bad no one's listening!
What about you is so hard to love?
You've tried asking, but nobody answers
What about the guy you really liked?
Who fell in love with someone new, guess he gave up on you
there's a hole in my heart, crying, locked in the bathroom
crouched by the toilet, trying hard not to puke
Then there's the girl who you told you loved
You got in a fight, there goes that, aren't you glad you tried?
She used to call you "angel eyes, too bad that was all a lie
fuck, at this point, it's tempting...You know, suicide?
So now there's a new guy, hope he doesn't ever leave
but maybe he's lying, when he acts so sweet
but you really really love him, anyone can plainly see
please stay, if you're listening, don't toss me away!
Insecurities? oh, yup, I got 'em!
I'm fat and ugly and really fucking annoying
"They act like you're funny, but they probably think you're obnoxious"
the voices in my head, won't be quiet
Want to be skinny and pretty, smart and kind, quiet and shy
The kind of girl, guys will actually like
Hey, angel, if you're reading, am I worth love?
sometimes I just feel like I'm not enough, never enough
So there, that's plenty, I got a lot out
Was that it, Star? All you want to tell them about?
Well, yeah, I guess, that's it for now
Stay tuned for more, rest assured, the story's not over.