You might think that I have everything. And you might think I should be more grateful. And maybe I should be.
But you can have everything and nothing at the same time.
Although I seem to have everything... at least compared to some other countries, states and people... inside I think that there's nothing, or at least almost nothing.
A large house, a nice house, three fun extracurricular activities, straight-A's...
What's the use if you feel nothing?
Being able to fall asleep quickly, being physically strong, being mentally strong, eating healthy, BEING healthy...
But you can't be happy... if I can't be happy...
Your loving, clueless family.
Who don't know that I--and you, maybe--are not feeling it.
Like I've said before...
They care, but they don't know. They don't see. They're not feeling what you and I might be, or are feeling. Maybe you--and I are barely feeling anything inside, or the feeling inside could translate to nothing. Feelings like fear, disgust, anger, sadness, dislike... or the stronger versions of those... terror, hate, rage, depression or depressed or moping... the emotions that make you feel nothing inside. Emotions that make you feel like a heavy stone boulder. A great big one, at that... big enough to fit inside a volcano... speaking of volcanoes, sometimes it can feel like you're about to erupt... you know, I've had quite a few of those times myself. Feeling like I could just yell at my family about how they don't know a lot of things; then waiting a minute, and it passes, and then it doesn't come up again for a while. When it does come up next, it's a little different. Or maybe you always feel like a stormy ocean; always yelling and shouting at the most unpredictable moments.
Maybe you're like me, a boulder who can't bring herself to tell anyone about her feelings in person, and so resorts to secretly tell people online about her.
Do you see that I have everything and nothing now?
Would you still tell me to be more grateful?
If you do, I might just roll into a cave.
Then I wouldn't have everything.
Instead I would have only nothing.