I Don't Want This

I thought I would always be
The same
I thought I would never see
These things the way some do
Now I silently cringe and silently sigh
Every time I hear your name
And I don't want this

We used to talk
But last time we did
I walked away
I chalk it up to awkwardness
Now I silently think
That I don't want this

I haven't seen your face
For so many months
Thoughts that lace with worry
Are in me
I want to talk
But I don't want this

I wonder if you'll come
I wish I could stop thinking
But I am in some turmoil
Thoughts, worries, hopes
In the end they all bubble and boil
Just the same
I want to hear your name
But I don't want this
I don't want this

I'm sorry about what happened
I'm sorry about what I felt
Though no one knew it
Least of all you
And inside I melt
Hopes and worries and thoughts
All I know
Is that I have this
Woah, strangely
Somehow I have this

And I don't want this
I don't want this
I do not want this
All I can say
The only way I can put it
Is
I don't want this