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Identity

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1 Chapter - 718 Words - Developed by: - Developed on: - 61 taken- The story is completed

A poem about gender:)

    1
    Identity

    "That's you," a voice whispers in my head
    As I stare at the flag
    My friend is nonchalant beside me
    Scrolling past and through

    I push the thoughts away and
    Go back to having fun
    Yet I feel as if it describes me;
    Let's me be... me.
    But I push these thoughts away,
    For it would be silly
    But maybe I could say that I'm they/them
    Instead of she.
    But would that be someone else?
    Or really, truly me?

    But I cannot, for the guilt that would weigh
    Me down like a boulder
    10 hundred pounds
    Upon my shoulders

    To identify with something besides
    She and her, I'd probably cry
    The zealous feeling of this phase comes to mind
    And I push these feelings away
    Hoping dearly, they die

    Yet these whimpers bubble in my head
    Whenever I dare to slip on a dress
    I want to rip it off but I don't
    In fear, I'll turn into the thing
    That voice in my head keeps telling me I should be

    Oh, I would cut my hair short
    I would wipe off my makeup
    I would date other girls
    But I'm not like that.

    That's not me
    For I am me
    But that could not be.

    The voice keeps persevering
    Telling me to care for my wellbeing
    Take up these urges
    Though they sound so appealing.
    Is this me?
    Am I wrong?
    Could I be something
    I think that I'm not?
    What if I'm living
    In the wrong body
    And when they lay me to rest
    They might discover
    The thoughts that kept bubbling
    Up in my head
    Or the stupid small voice
    Telling me I'm not dead.

    Yet.

    The pestering scratch in the back of my mind
    I hate it but I love it
    And I don't know why.
    If I just experimented-
    Just a social test.
    Would I be comfortable?
    With him and they?

    I feel all alone
    Surrounded by people
    But I always thought
    Everyone felt
    The same way as me
    With all this dysphoria
    I didn't even think
    That I was by myself.
    Yet the world seems so big now,
    And my heart is so small.

    Would it really be fair?
    To bend everyone around?
    To use the correct pronoun?

    I tried, I tried,
    To keep it bottled in
    But it all gushed out
    Sitting there with him
    I trusted it, his words
    They and them made me comfy
    Understanding this thing in the world
    Made me angry.
    If I can't understand
    Then I refuse
    But now I know;


    My heart matters more
    And so does yours.










    Thanks! I just wrote this and shared it with a couple of other people who liked it (and asked if I was okay lol) but I am okay, honestly, and I wished I could help other people be more okay with using the pronouns that make themselves more comfortable. Just remember, it doesn't matter what you were assigned at birth, what your religion is, what your parents want- you can identify with anything you want.:)
    My heart matters more,
    And so does yours.

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