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The life of Cometstar, RiverClan leader

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5 Chapter - 504 Words - Developed by: - Developed on: - 1,503 taken- The story is completed - 6 people like it

This is a story about a small kit called Cometkit who becomes Cometstar, leader of RiverClan!

1
Goldenheart looked at her small kit dearly. "oh, Wingstar, what to call this beauty?" Wingstar looked fondly at the kit, and said "Cometkit shall be her name." Goldenheart nodded in approval and called to her mate, Cobrashade. "our kit, Cometkit, has come!" she said in a happy tone. Cobrashade looked down at the beautiful, tiny she-cat and smiled. " oh, Wingstar, you gave her such a beautiful name! thank StarClan for this beauty!"

Comments (9)

autorenew

430 days ago
Leaders need to have at less one apprentices as deputy or as a warrior. The story didn't have enough detail in it please write a better more detailed story and I'll give this a ten out of ten.
528 days ago
I agree with Emily MacCowan
528 days ago
So that is good! But you had not enough detail! Try again and make more. Just remember-more detail! I know it’s hard, but it is worth it for the best story ever!
555 days ago
Nice story. Though I wish it was longer.
603 days ago
Meow! Hello I am Snowstar. MEOW MEOW U DED
612 days ago
Who was Cometstar’s apprentice?😒I mean she needs an apprentice before made leader!
635 days ago
Idk 😐
661 days ago
Also it was way too formal, just narrating not telling the story.This may sound harsh but the chapters told way too much information, it was kinda hard to follow and it was like Cometpaw became cometstorm, she killed a cat and wham she’s the lead.
661 days ago
Nice fan fiction well done keep it up! Maybe a little more writing in each chapter but that’s ok for an improvement.