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Name the Weird Phobia
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I don’t feel good
I think I have moderate to severe (I don’t faint) trypanophobia, fear of needles. My mom says I don’t have it and it’s supposed to be really bad, but c’mon. Does she really not remember that time where both she and the doctor had to hold me down as I was kicking and fighting and screaming at the top of my lungs just to get a flu shot? Seriously mom. Just think about it.
The hard part is that it’s hard to explain how it feels to her so I’m just gonna explain here.
I know I’m getting a shot, I’m a bit nervous but think I can handle it. I get a bit tense as we enter the hospital, am tense/very tense by the time we’re in the doctor room thingy (idk what it’s called). The doctor enters, the hospital smell starts to freak me out. As if the hospital smell wasn’t enough, the doctor puts antiseptic on my arm, the feeling, the cold, the wetness, the smell, the sight make me want to GET OUT. My insides start shaking. My hands get clammy. My mom sees my discomfort and reaches out to touch me, be it my arm, hand, back. I have an extremely hard time not slapping/screaming at her, I have before. I start hyperventilating even before the doctor takes out the needle. She does that thing where the needle clicks into place and I’m ready to cry, I’ve never made it without crying. It takes many tries for the doctor to get it in my arm, I keep stopping her. I’m full on weeping at this point. The feeling inside my chest when I see the needle approach is just full on panic, I’m guessing it’s a panic attack but I’m not completely sure, I’m gonna look that up later. Every single hair on my body stands up, I feel a chill continuously passing through my veins, my throat has that weird feeling it gets when I’m really hungry, probably because I’m crying so much.
I calm down relatively quickly afterwards but my insides don’t stop shivering for a long time. I’ve tried numbing the spot with this weird cream from the doctor, that did nothing it’s not the pain I’m afraid of, it’s partly the anticipation and partly (obviously) the NEEDLE. Ungh I feel slightly nauseated just writing this.
Closing my eyes/looking away doesn’t help, then I can’t tell what’s happening until the needle touches me and that in itself freaks me out. Looking at the needle doesn’t help either for obvious reasons. What I’ve found is that if I look at my hand or the doctors chest I can tell what’s happening in my peripheral vision but I’m kind of removed, as in my mindset. I try to keep myself removed during blood pressure checks too so I don’t break down, if I break down once I’ll never stop.
My insides are quivering. I’m getting a bit nauseated. I should really stop.
I have
BASOPHOBIA,(falling)
TYPHOPHOBIA,(Closely packed holes.I know because I flip when seeing bugs eyes)
and MASTIGIOPHOBIA.(Punishment)People say I overreact with this one, but I have mental breakdowns when someone seem the slightest bit upset at me.Yeah, I know.It's wierd.
I am a kid, so naturally I screw up a lot.Yeesh.
Also I have episodes where I will get indecision about something, but get so distressed I slap myself.
Atelphobia - fear of not being good enough
Pyrophobia - fear of fire
#1. Cacophobia = Fear of ugliness.
#2 Death Anxiety = Fear of dying or being dead.
These two phobias have been tormenting me since 2017. It's now January 2019 and I'm still suffering just as badly!
I also have Depression and Anxiety... Yahoo!...?
*Sigh* -_-'
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