Am I Butch, Femme, Or Stem?

So you've figured out you're a lesbian.... Congratulations! Now just one question remains: Are you butch, femme, or stem? Hopefully, this quiz can help you on your journey to self-discovery.
Disclaimer: Only you can determine whether you're butch, femme, or stem. This quiz is just a guide to help you along. It will only be useful to lesbians - others should try some different quizzes! Also, it won't be 100 percent accurate for everyone. It's a test, not a human being who can talk to you and learn everything about you.

  • 1
    Growing up, were you a tomboy or a girly-girl?
    Growing up, were you a tomboy or a girly-girl?
  • 2
    Which would you prefer to wear at your wedding?
  • 3
    Which role do you prefer to play in a relationship?

  • 4
    Which of these do you prefer to wear in your normal, day-to-day life? Choose the closest.
  • 5
    Whom do you prefer to have as a partner?
  • 6
    Do you prefer to take care of your partner, or to be taken care of by your partner?

  • 7
    Do you reject traditional femininity, or do you subvert it? (In other words, do you perform femininity for other women and not men, or do you not perform it at all?)
  • 8
    Which lesbian figure do you identify with/like the most?
  • 9
    Do you enjoy traditionally masculine activities or lines of work (mechanics, construction, etc.)?
  • 10
    Finally, what do you feel you are?

Comments (68)


11 days ago
I like this test its so beautiful
19 days ago
This quiz seems to be a bit inaccurate. My results said that I'm a femme, based off of my relationship preferences, but all of the other questions about my appearance and hobbies I felt pointed to being more masc.
40 days ago
I got stem which I kinda knew y’all saying y’all wanted to be butch but I wanted to be lesbian and look where I’m at now I’m a lesbian in the closet so what I’m saying is that if you want to be butch or a stem or fem you are probably a fem ,butch or stem sorry for the long comment hope this helps
69 days ago
great quiz, but slightly innacurate. you can’t really assume someone’s appearance from their personality or type (at least not in my experience). i’m pretty butch, wear my brother’s clothes more than my own and all that, but mainly due to my relationship preferences the quiz’s result was femme
87 days ago
I got stem and I'm happy because I think that does suit me best, sad thing is everyone just thinks I'm a slightly edgy straight girl 😔
I've already cane out at school and home, next step is my grandparents and extended family 😬
121 days ago
Ummm I got femme and I'm think that's wrong because I am more on the butch side more then the femme side
132 days ago
HELLO. god im dumb. I recently learned ima lesbian. yay I havent acually come out yet but... i will. someday.. ANYWAYS i got stem. So . Im wish i could be butch but if i asked my mom "HEeY! I wAnt a SupeR sHoRt hAir" she would probally say no. :(
Sorry for such a long comment. BAIIIII
158 days ago
im a lesbian and sad my mom dont want me to be lesbian she said i cant like gurlz
165 days ago
I got femme and I was not happy, I want to be butch
187 days ago
Where my lesbians at!
187 days ago
I’m a femme! Suits me! Also, to all of you who feel insecure about coming out to yourself, be true to ur self ok
194 days ago
umm the quiz isn't just useful for lesbians because 'while the butch/femme label is often used by/associated with lesbians, it is also used by other groups in the LGBTQ+ community. This includes queer men and m-spec sapphics'.
210 days ago got it wrong.
220 days ago
Im getting more confused as days go by. The results was a great help but hell no, I need to be a girl because I am the only daughter and I have no siblings.
230 days ago
welp im genderfluid pansexual toast so idk why im taking this quiz
237 days ago
@ella same! im a butch lesbian who dates femmes, not the other way around!
251 days ago
🍦 i got femme as a result .nope not me ,im a butch lesbian who dates femmes
273 days ago
I got masc lesbian that prefers dating femmes, but I'm down with dating other mascs too, as long as they ain't gonna try to top me.
283 days ago
said i was a stem.. got that right babyyy wooooo less gooooo
288 days ago
I feel like I'm a femme