Which Diaryland Diarist are you?
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Which Diaryland Diarist are you?

Have you ever wondered which Diaryland Diarist you are? I mean, other than you?

Question 1:Look down. What is on your floor right now?
My little boy and his flash cards.
Two cats, a Christmas Spider, and the Exercise Ball of Pain
The underwear of a girl I met on the internet.
A pig, some dirt... wait, does it count if the floor is dirt?

Question 2:If someone were to make a movie about your life, what would it most resemble?
A Brilliant Mind
You Can Count On Me
High Fidelity

Question 3:What is your favorite meal?
Anything I can buy at the Dollar Store or scrounge from the cupboards of the people who let me stay in their apartment.
Well, they say it tastes like chicken....
Something I grew in my garden.
Steak covered in peanut butter

Question 4:If someone gave you $1000, what would you do with it.
Not tell anyone because my scummy relatives would invent some kind of sob story so they could borrow it
Buy m'sister a new set a' teeth
Buy something for the home that I've had my eye on.
Porn for everyone!!!!
Buy five round trip plane tickets

Question 5:What was your most memorable birthday?
I got drunk and saw strippers. And then threw up.
I had sex with four women in 12 hours and had to be rushed to the hospital for dehydration. It was a good 12th birthday.
Pappy took me huntin' for varmits
I bench pressed my spouse.
That would be the year I got a Cease and Desist letter from Brad Pitt's lawyers.

Question 6:You've been invited to a cocktail party... what are you doing?
Showing the hostess how she can best design her garden.
Staring into nothing, composing word pictures in my head
Sitting quietly in the corner, smiling at everyone, making sarcastic comments under my breath, and powerloading the mini corn dogs.
Cocktails? I got 'nuff chickens, don't need no tails.
Having sex on top of the coats in the bedroom with the caterer

Question 7:When you dress to impress, describe your normal style.
My dress flannel.
Usually whatever I wear to church. If it's good enough for God, it's good enough for you. So yeah, my spouse dresses me.
Comfortable but sexy, something that allows for ease of movement. Usually I'll show a little skin.
Pretty simple. White. Grey. Maybe a little splash of color.
I wear all'a my favorite things at once.

Question 8:When you were in school, what was the main thing you got in trouble for?
Bringing m'critters in ta class.
Staring off into space. Or skipping.
I got away with everything because I am the master of the innocent face.
Having sex with the teachers.
Smoking. But it wasn't cigarettes.

Question 9:How would you describe your circle of friends?
They are an unstoppable army.
They all must come with a clean bill of health.
They aren't sure if I'm the real thing or a well-crafted facade.
I'm popular without trying. It just happens.
Wonderful folks. I love them dearly. All three of them.

Question 10:Pick a number.
500 billion.

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