Am I In A Toxic Friendship?š¤
If you have to ask this question, then I am really sorry for you. Please take my 'Signs of a toxic friend quiz' now to help you discover whether you are indeed in a toxic friendship - and, if so, to see if it's worth trying to repair. Good luck! I hope my toxic friend test helps you and your friend.
My story:
HI I'm Sam and my friend, lets call her R has been really toxic to me lately, she used 2 b my bff so she knows all my buttons and blind spots so she is able to manipulate me. First, whenever we play games she would be the most powerful player all the time and break the rules and say that I've done it before so she can do it. Second, we were doing this project with another friend and I put the most effort in it and she cut out all my lines, took out all my work, and then said that it was all my fault. AMF the worst part about it is that this has happened before and I always apologized and I already believed her. So I talked 2 another friend about R, lets call her S. What surprised me is that S said R did that 2 her 2. R always favored her bff N and S and I were always ignored. That actually happened a few hours ago. So S and I r gonna talk to R later at 4:30. Wish me luck!
I must be honest, I am not a smart student. My grades are average as well as my looks. I am a curious girl, and I do not know much, so when I ask questions that have answers of "common sense", I get called stupid from my friend. She calls me other names and constantly tells me " how do you not now that, are you dumb?". She also scoffs at me and mocks me for my habits that I gained from being socially awkward. I feel stupid and worthless compared to her, and recently my grades have been dropping. I do not know if she has a connection to it, but I cannot seem to focus in class or at home, as I always think about what she has said to me. Today, she had barely glimpsed at me while I tried to speak to her. My other friend that was close by told me to hurry and walk her to her class. She kept on asking me so I ended up doing so. After that period, my friend, let us call her Charlotte, started ignoring me. This was not her first time, and probably won't be her last. I had said that I was really sorry, which I always had to do, and gave an explanation of why I had to leave her. She just walked past me, as I told her so. She is super confusing, and I can't understand her. She will tell a secret of mine in front of the class and make fun of me, but the next second tell me that I am super smart and talented.
I also have three other friends who treat me in a way that makes me feel depressed. One is a girl which we will name, Jennifer. The two others are males who we will name, Chris and Ryan. I enjoy art, for it is one of my hobbies. Jennifer also enjoys art, and we tend to draw together. But recently she has been comparing our art, and saying how much her drawings are better then mine. For example: "Look at my drawings. It only took me 5 minutes to draw this, while it took you the whole period to draw that." It makes me feel like trash, as I always would talk about how great her artwork looked. Not just that, but several months ago, when I trusted my friends with my life, I told them about how I was suicidal. Just a couple days later, Jennifer brought it up and made two comments saying how it wasn't a big deal and that it didn't really mean anything to her. I was shocked, and couldn't believed she said that. I have known her for years! But maybe that was to be expected... She always lied to be our friends, claiming that I tried to drown her, even though my parents and I do not remember that. Well I did catch her in the act before, because on another day she was bragging how smart her sister was, saying that she got 3000 on the SAT. And at that point I was dumbfounded. 1600 is the highest you can get on the SAT! And then she switched up the story, saying that her sister took the test at home. Another time is when we were talking about dog eating and how it was terrible. Suddenly she brings up a time when she and her family went to get dog meat soup in America. She claimed that it was at a restaurant. I then told her that it was illegal to eat dogs in America, and it has been so for a long time. That made her switch up her story, saying that she made a mistake and meant that she had dog fur soup and that it was really good. At that point I was annoyed at her. Well anyways, let's move on to Chris and Ryan because I don't want to waste more of your time if you are reading this.
So I was thinking of working on the yearbook poster with Chris. We considered the partnership, but in the end we had our own different ideas, making me start working separately on the poster. At that point we only had a week left, and I told him that we might as well get rid of the thought of working together. And how did he respond? Well casually by cutting my poster that I work for an hour-and-a-half on. I started having a mental breakdown, isn't crying for 3 hours lovely? Especially with all your classmates looking at you. :) In the end he did not say sorry, and probably forgot that event ever happened at this point. Actually that might be good. So a month later I brought these nice sunglasses for a school event. Chris being the person he was took it from me and wouldn't give it back. Even though I asked him multiple times if I could please have it back. I would be fine if he held it for a while, but it was a special gift from my cousin, who had saved it for years. In the end, Jennifer took the shades from him, and it was covered with permanent scratches. I was really upset that day. Also upset on the days when he tossed my school chromebook, kicked my bag multiple times, and broke my stuff. Ryan isn't any better as he kicked and hit me multiple times. Just as a joke right? Well maybe to him, but being shoved into a locker and elbowed in the face hurt me just as mentally as physically. Fortunately, I am starting to drift away from both of them...
It seems as if no one cares about me at school, as I always listen to their constant non-stop talk about their misery, but when I try to bring up mine, they ignore me. I wish to find new friends by next year, who I can finally feel comfortable with. I do not know how to drift away from Jennifer and Charlotte. I do not want to directly tell them about my troubles, as it would start drama once more, and I am sure sick of it. Well maybe when the summer passes, we won't talk as much. Thank you if any of you read this, and I would be just as happy to listen to any of your vents. Have a spectacular day! :>
now for this next part im going to provide a bit of context. i am 14 years old, and currently enrolled in one of the electives at school called studio music. its a high school level course, (I'm in 8th grade) and we both take it. Since u only take it for a half a year, and we were not in the same class, she took it for the first 20 weeks of school, and I'm now taking it for the last 20 weeks of school.
ok thats it for context, time for the story lol.
now during lunch the other day, we were having a friendly argument about which studio music class was better. she was saying it was her class, because they made a song for their final project that was amazing. (and im ngl its pretty good.) but she didnt help with it at all, and yet she was making it sound like she was a part of it when she wasnt. it was 3-4 boys in her class that made th song called "Fauci Gang." she talked about this, and a number of other funny things that were made in her class, which she had nothing to do with. this started out as a joke, a funny conversation, and she took it very far. eventually we moved on and talked about other things, but everything that we talked about where she was apart of the conversation, was about her. i started telling a story about something that happened to me and my bestie, and she cut me off and started talking about her studio music class again. like jeez girl give it a break.
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