# Becoming Britney?!!

Have you been dreaming of becoming a pop star? Or, straightforwardly, have you been hoping to be like Britney? Have you been spending sleepless nights watching MTV and trying to imitate her moves? Have you broken your ankle trying to do so? These and a bunch of other mind-boggling questions awaits you as you examine yourself if you are in fact Britneyish! Sit tight...

 Question 1: Has Britney ever visited you in a dream as a periwinkle fairy who has shining blond hair, twinkling blue eyes and a to-die-for pair of cute fancy wings?
 You damn right she did. She was my childhood monster!! The creepy girl who hides under my bed and disturbs my dreams!! grrr.... Nope. But I often dream of Guatemalan giraffes who like to scratch my tummy. AHA! AHA!! and she has this cute little toe ring that has fluffy feathers on it and this awesome necklace that says I'm a virgin! Oh my! and once, in my dream she even coached me to dance!! I don't dream!! I don't sleep!! I'm an insomniac!! Is that what you want to hear?!!
 Question 2: Has your Algebra teacher caught you singing "I'm A Slave For You" while he was teaching polynomials?
 I love algebra, how can I miss some of the vital facts. You don't believe me?! Okay, ask me?! Ask me?! I know what's 2x + x is! Yeah, but I was singing "Killing me Softly". The only song I know is Happy Birthday to you. Would that count? Hi..hi..hi... aha. Ooo! I'm a slave for you !! ah, ah, ah, ah!! Isn't it cute!
 Question 3: Have you ever joined amateur contests in your high school foundation day because you really want to show off you Britney moves?
 Nope. But I once joined the Green Peas eating contest! For your information, I won the Britney-Look-and-Move-Alike Contest just a while ago. contest?!! I don't want to join a contest?! No mommy!! I don't want to!! Why do you keep on pushing me!! I'm an out-of-school youth.
 Question 4: You saw Britney buying some detergent soap at your local grocery store, you would...
 Umm... finish grocery shopping? Call 911. Sing at the top of my lungs my favorite song, Baby Hit Me One More Time while I approach her and hand her a grocery basket! Spit on her!! Christina Aguilera Rulezz!!
 Question 5: You loathe Justin Timberlake because...
 He dumped me for crying out loud!!! He's not gay. I don't feel anything. Duh?!! Of course, she treated Britney like trash!
 Question 6: Have you ever starved trying to save your allowance so you can buy Britney's new album?
 a...a.. ye...yyee.ss.s..a..a..I..I.. a..aa..actua..ll..yy,.am.. in... e..e..emerge...ncy..ru..room...right na..now... the doctor said I'm dying. I'm a Bolemic, I throw up anything I eat. That's why I starve. But, damn, not because of her. Puhhleezz. Sorry, can't answer that. ( Ssshh... I'm on a diet...) I don't like to eat.
 Question 7: If you were trapped in an island with Britney what would you do?
 I would fry her. Damn I'm starving. Marry her and raise a family. We could be the Adam and Eve of the 21st century! I don't particularly islands. Its scary. They're like big masses of land trying to eat me!! Run for your lives!! Kill her, swim as fast as I could to the nearest island, even if it would take forever, and take her place!!!
 Question 8: Would you lick Britney's mud-stained boots?
 You damn right I would!! I like mud so much, I can eat a handful of it! I'm a mud man!! With all my heart, and with all my soul. Hell no!! If she were wearing sandals maybe I would, but boots? no way!! I don't have a tongue.
 Question 9: If Britney were an animal, what would she be?
 A Guatemalan Giraffe!!! She's gonna be hot!! ummm... a mosquito? Well, she bites. a leech. A beautiful, sparkling butterfly. Ahh... this question is so sweet!
 Question 10: If you were dying, what would be your last wish?
 See... the.. the..a..a......me...mem.... To see a Guatemalan Giraffe eating a lemon. I'm already dead, moron! To have Britney dig my grave!! Whooa!! That is so cool, I can brag about it, Hey!! Britney just dig my grave!! Isn't that so groovy!!

This Quiz has been designed by Guatemalan Giraffe.