Are you a serial killer?

This test uses data from the FBI's human behaviour department to identify various early warning signs that will determine if you are, or are going to be, a serial killer.

Question 1:You are walking in the desert. You see a tortoise. You pick it up and turn it on its back and watch as it helplessly tries to right itself. What do you do?
Return it to its feet and feel guilty all day.
You just leave it there and walk off.
You sit and watch it slowly die in the heat of the sun.
You take out your knife and gut the tortoise, and wear its shell as a hat.

Question 2:Do you wet the bed?
No, never have.
Yes, when I was a small child.
Yes, still do.

Question 3:You are walking home, late at night. There is nobody about. You see a homeless man, lying drunk in a pool of his own urine. Do you-
Walk on by.
Give him some change
Give him a swift kick to the guts.
Give him a savage beating
Gouge out his eyes and gut him like a fish.

Question 4:What's the nastiest thing you have ever done to an animal?
I have never hurt a living creature.
I swatted a fly or other insect.
I killed a rat/mouse other pest animal
I set fire to a dog or a cat
I killed a bunch of nurses.

Question 5:Have you ever set fire to something?
No, never.
Sure, I made a fire in my fireplace.
Sure, I set fire to bushes and stuff.
I burned a house down once.
I poured petrol over a gay man and burned him to death

Question 6:What is your sexual orientation?
Straight.
Gay.
I like little kids.
Sex... sexx.... no mummyyy I'm a good boy... good boy... dirty dirty
I get sexual kicks from murdering people.

Question 7:Do you have many close friends?
Sure, a whole bunch.
I have a few close friends
I don't have any friends.
Only one, but he only comes when I get angry.
I make friends easily, but the relationships always end when I murder them.

Question 8:Which one of these people do you admire more?
Nelson Mandela
The Fonz
Adolf Hitler
Ted Bundy

Question 9:Have you ever got really angry and lashed out at someone with physical violence?
No, never
Yeah, a couple of times I started a fight.
A couple of times I've really dealt out a savage beating.
Yeah, I get really violent all the time and I flip out and kill people.
I never get angry when I kill people, I'm just doing what the lord satan commands.

Question 10:Are you a serial killer?
No.
No, I'm just a violent thug, not a murderer.
I get tempted to start killing those filthy whores sometimes.
Yes.

This Quiz has been designed by Mark Anderson.