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Fuck you Lindsay.

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Gerard Way gets into an online relationship? Is it a perfect couple or just more bullshit?

I open my door to my small apartment, it is raining and cold and I can barely feel my fingers, which is unusual in California. I puff a tired breath and walk over to my Apple Mac sitting on my desk in my living room which is connected to a kitchen and there is an area in the corner which is slightly elevated and there Is my bed and night stand. I go on Facebook and log on, type in my email, and then my password, gwiz138. I scroll through my feed and see the usual, a few posts from Lindsay, my online girlfriend that I absolutely adore, one from my brother Mikey which is just a picture of his cat, and a few from old friends who I haven’t talked to in years. I hear my phone ring from my jacket pocket, well not ring but make noise to let me know I have a text. I stroll over to the door and pull out my phone and see that it’s a text from Lindsay.

Lindsay: Hey, babe.
Me: Hello, sweetheart.

I reply the usual, well not usual. Sometimes I mix it up like saying, ‘Sweetheart, hello.’ Or maybe even use a different pet name like ‘Linds’ or ‘babe’ or ‘baby’, but I really couldn’t say anything within the ‘baby’ family because she already did and I’m one to be original and don’t want to sound boring or bland.

Lindsay: How are you? Are you home from work?
Me: I am good, and yeah, just got home. It’s POURING.
Lindsay: In California?

No, in fucking New Mexico.

Me: Yeah. What are you doing?
Lindsay: Watching America’s Next Top Model.

God, I love her.

Me: FaceTime maybe? I mean you’re not doing anything all that important.
Lindsay: Can’t, wifi is down.

Nevermind. We text a whilst longer as I look through a few pictures of her, wishing that her wifi was up or wishing that she was at home so she could video chat, or wishing that she wasn’t busy. She always has excuses.

Me: Babe? Why can’t you EVER video chat? Or at least CALL?
Lindsay: I’m sorry babe, you know I am busy at my job.

She is a Therapist.

Me: But don’t you have ANY free time?
Lindsay: Well also my wifi has been down and my sister is going through a lot of drama, she’s living with me right now.
Me: Oh…

Eventually she tells me she has to go to sleep since she is two hours ahead of me so over there it’s 22:36, when here it’s only 20:36.
This is getting really annoying, I’ve never even talked to her, as in voice to voice. All I’ve seen is maybe 10 pictures in total and we’ve known each other for 6 months. She is getting really suspicious…
I collapse on the small yard sale-bought couch in the large part of the living room after logging off of Facebook and flip on the TV. MTV was on and this show was on in which I don’t really know the name of and I’m pretty sure they are both gay. The show is called Catfish: The TV Show and these two guys Nev and Max are investigating weird and sketchy online relationships and finding out if the person on the other line is telling the truth or lying, kind of cool actually. I wonder if they’ll help me… At the end of the TV show, I jump back onto my computer and pull up a website where I found their email and logged into mine and sent them an email;

Subject: Who is she?

Dear Max and Nev,
I just watched an episode of your show, Catfish, and realized I have a similar situation to the person you guys helped. 6 months ago, a girl named Lindsay Smith messaged me on Facebook. We talked a bit and I discovered that she lived in New Jersey. We became pretty close and moved our Facebook communication to text. She only has around 10 pictures of herself on her profile and I’ve only seen those ones. I have asked many times if we could call and voice talk, but she’s always doing something, whether it’s work, she’s not home, her phone is broken, her sister is over, I’ve heard every single one. I’ve also requested to FaceTime or video chat, but I get the same excuses. I’m getting real tired of it. If you could just…PLEASE help me, call me at 077-564-732. Thank you.
Gerard Way

And then I hit send, turned off my computer, crawled into bed and went to sleep.
After stripping naked of course

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