Jump to the comments

Self hate

star goldstar goldstar goldstar goldstar greyFemaleMale
1 Chapter - 233 Words - Developed by: - Developed on: - 124 taken-The story is currently being written

This really hurts and I don't know what to do

    1

    It’s midnight
    I fight

    The urge to cut my skin
    It would be so easy so thin

    The knife sits in my box on my shelf
    I hate myself

    I want to hurt
    Because I’ve hurt

    Others
    Maybe that’s what I deserve

    I want to feel the same pain
    I don’t know how to explain

    Maybe if I cut
    It’ll be justified, but

    If I start it will never be
    Enough for me

    This thing I did long ago
    Haunts me deep, down low

    That’s where the self hatred
    Started

    Everything
    Is triggering

    And now I can’t go a day
    without saying I hate myself in every way









Comment function without the Quiz / FF / list

Comments (18)

autorenew

5 hours ago
Don't cut yourself just because you made a few mistakes! If you didn't make mistakes, you wouldn't be a human! Also there is a quote from Fellow Earthling's fan fiction with the quotes:
"Mistakes are proof that you are trying!"
And you're not worthless and you're not stupid!
9 hours ago
Thank you for all the encouragement, NHYT.
I am very tempted to cut today. I made a few mistakes and I feel horrible about myself
5 days ago
Not really my siblings together. It’s mostly just my sister. But they still do everything together even though I think my brother can tell how she is.
5 days ago
That’s where it all started. There were other serious issues but
5 days ago
Yeah...it’s good to know you guys really care
It’s just hard when I’m told by my own siblings that I’m worthless...
That I’m stupid...
When I get put down by them all the time
8 days ago
Don’t hate yourself!!!
Don’t cut yourself!!!
143, love yourself, that’s what you should do!!
16 days ago
It works temporarily for me as well. Sometimes. But im glad it helped u! ❤❤❤
17 days ago
Hey, TheQuizzyAddict, the thing that has helped me to stop hurting myself (at least temporarily) is exercise. I give myself a reason to feel good about myself and what I’m doing. This may not work for you but I hope it does.
17 days ago
Many virtual hugs to you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I’ll use the giveusashout.org thank you. And...well I have so many sewing needles and pins and I need to have my earrings in most of the time and all those sharp things. So if I took it all to another room it would look so weird to my parents.
17 days ago
I wish I could be there to hug you. I know that feeling where all you want at that moment is just a hug. A long meaningful hug where you can just let it all out. So here: a hug. Well a virtual one. Plz syay strong and remember that your problems matter too. Everyone's problems do. 💖💖💕💕💓💓❤❤
17 days ago
giveusashout.org
This is for basically anything. It's for self harm, suicide, bullying, whatever is worrying you.
Please don't do it. I know it's reallyyyy hard but keep your hands in your pockets. Lock all harmful things away. Or in another room. Maybe go out for a walk to me sure you are away from the sharp things in your knife. And I know this can be really tough but don't let a nightmare get the best of you. Stay strong 💜💜💜💜💜💜
18 days ago
Ok thank you for the helpline. Idk I tried an adult texting helpline but it was mostly for people who are gonna commit suicide or being seriously abused. That’s when the realization that my self harm is not as bad as what others have. Maybe that’s not true, but it’s what I feel.
I’m really trying to resist the temptation to cut. Ik that I’ll feel worse, but....I also had a nightmare about that thing I talked about in the poem. It feels like even in my sleep I want to cut.
Again, please please please don’t cut. It’s making you feel worse and it makes me so sad. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💙💚💛🧡💝
18 days ago
143 I didn't get help. But I wish I did because it's addictive. Once you get started you keep having the thoughts. I know a helpline that's really good in the UK but not in the USA. If you type in child helplines them loads come up. And you can stay anonymous too.

Please, please don't do it. I'm telling you that you will regret it. Put everything sharp in another room. Or hide it so that you can't see it. I know it's hard to resist the temptation. But please don't do it. It will just make you feel even worse. When I did it I hated myself even more. I felt like a psycho, seriously. Please don't do it. I'm begging you it will make me so upset if you do. Harming yourself isn't the only option. I promise. Please don't do it, I hope I didn't say this too late. We WILL get through this 💝💝💝💝💝
18 days ago
Tysm guys you are so supportive 😊😊just want to say i appreciate it so much.
TheQuizzyAddict I feel like I want to pick up my sewing needle and cut. It’s just so hard not to. I’m considering doing it on my legs to keep it away from my parents. Also how did you find help? We’ll get through this together and I wish you hadn’t cut. Please don’t do it again. 💓💓💖💖💖💖
18 days ago
We're here for you 💕
18 days ago
Let me know if I can help at all 143!!😘😘💗💔❤💚💜💙💛💓💕💖💞💘
18 days ago
143 ur pain is definitely valid. I used to think that too but tbh making sure you receive the right help will stop u from getting it worse. I promise it will help.
I, myself feel exactly thr same way as you. If I'm alone in a room with some scissors i go crazy. I can't stop shaking and my hands literally can't stop moving. I feel like I'm going crazy!

Please remember that your pain is definitely valid. Yes, there are people who have it worse than you but you still have it bad. And self harm is DEFINITELY serious. U kinda get addicted. And I know this from only one day of doing it. I started today cuz I went MENTAL! I felt like I was a psycho! Anyways, please, please stay strong cuz u matter too ❤❤❤
18 days ago
I still don’t feel like it’s bad enough to be serious. I feel there’s always someone more depressed, more hurting, and so my pain isn’t valid.