Are You A Retarded Monkey?
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Are You A Retarded Monkey?

ange their ways because they probably won’t be able to understand why they are in the category in the first place.)

Question 1:   What color from the list below appeals to you the most?

Question 2:   What is the first thing you notice about a person of the same sex? (If the first thing you notice is not listed please choose the second thing you notice and so on if the second thing you notice isn’t listed)
Body type (such as weight, build etc)

Question 3:   What is the first thing you notice about a person of the opposite sex? (If the first thing you notice is not listed please choose the second thing you notice and so on if the second thing you notice isn’t listed)
Body type (such as weight, build etc)

Question 4:   How would you best handle the following scenario? (Please pick the answer that best describes your reaction) After a long day of work you have to go to the super market for groceries. After an hour or so of shopping you choose your items and are ready to check out. You get in the first line you come to which not only happens to be the shortest but also an express lane for twenty items or less. People begin to line up behind you almost as soon as you get in line. You realize when it is almost your turn to check out that you are standing in an express lane and you have 37 items. What do you do?
You decide to split your transaction into two separate transactions of 20 items or less, to get around the 20 items or less rule. After all, both transactions are within the 20 item guideline and for all the cashier knows you could be not only shopping for yourself, but your sick grandmother as well.
Wait until you get to the front of the line and it is your turn to check out and say to the cashier, “I have more than twenty, is that all right?” as you begin placing your items on the counter.
Although you notice you are in the express lane you stay in the line thinking, “37 items isn’t that much more than 20 items.” You are completely clueless, or pretend to be, to the people behind you with less items
Allow the person behind you with only one item to get in front of you, but not the person behind them who has ten items, while remaining in the express lane. After all you did let someone with less items go in front of you, so your conscience is clear.
You leave the express lane and go to a lane that allows more than 20 items, even though all other lanes have longer lines than the express lane.

Question 5:   How would you best handle the following situation? (Please pick the answer that best describes your reaction.) You are shopping at Wal Mart or another retail store of the same stature. You pick up the last shirt from a rack where all items have been marked down to $5.00. When you get to the check out the shirt rings up at $5.98, and when you explain to the cashier that the shirt rang up wrong the cashier calls for a price check. The price check reveals that the shirt was on the wrong rack where a customer had left it earlier in the day. What do you do?
Have them put the shirt back because $5.98 is too expensive.
Buy the shirt for the $5.98, all the while complaining that you found the shirt on the clearance rack so you should get the shirt for the clearance price and that the store should do a better job of making sure items are in their right place. You are never coming to that store again.
Buy the shirt anyway because the full price is still a pretty good bargain.
Tell the cashier that they don’t know what they are doing and that you demand to have the shirt for the price the rack said. Obviously the store has made a mistake and you shouldn’t have to pay for it.
Explain to the cashier that they are clueless and that you want to see a manager. Once the manager comes out of hiding you then proceed to badger them into giving you the shirt for the clearance price

Question 6:   You think your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on you. After you confront them with your suspicion they assure you that they are not cheating on you. A few days later you find a pair of panties/briefs that aren’t yours. What do you do?
Take a step back in your relationship. After all if you can’t trust them do you really have a strong relationship?
Confront your boyfriend/girlfriend with your suspicions. After all communication is the key to a successful relationship. They explain that the briefs/panties were a birthday present for you, after all your birthday is in two days. You knew there was a reasonable explanation.
Calmly discuss your suspicions with them, and once they’ve assured you that they are not cheating on you, you smile and tell them that you believe them. Of course for the next few weeks you spy on them and continue to make sure that they are being faithful.
You confront your boyfriend/girlfriend with a bat in one hand and a half drunk bottle of tequila in the other. How dare that b**ch/b**tard even think of cheating on you, let alone actually act on it!
You phone up Cheaters and have them spy on your boyfriend/girlfriend to find out if they are telling you the truth. Once cheaters confirms that they are indeed having an affair(s) you either break down into tears or angrily confront them; you didn’t actually believe they were cheating on you!

Question 7:   What cartoon character from the list below appeals to you the most?
Scooby Doo
Sponge Bob Squarepants
Tweety Bird

Question 8:   What is your favorite Harry Potter Book?
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s (Philosopher’s) Stone
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkeban
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Question 9:   Which president from the list below appeals to you the most
George W. Bush
Richard Nixon
John F. Kennedy
Abraham Lincoln
George Washington

Question 10:   What number from the list below appeals to you the most?

Question 11:   Which movie from the list below do you like best?
The Matrix
Fast and the Furious
A Life Less Ordinary
8 Mile

Question 12:   How best describes the number of shoes you own?
I use both of my hands and a foot, with five little toes, to count the number of shoes I own.
I need both feet, all ten toes, and both hands to count all of my shoes.
I need hands, feet, arms, legs and any other appendage to count the number of shoes I own. No more than 26 pair, I swear!
I need both hands to count the number of shoes I have at home. No more than ten!
I can count the number of shoes I own on one hand. Really I can.

Question 13:   Choose the answer that is less like the other five answers? (Think anatomy and appearance)

Question 14:   Your friends and you are shopping at the mall and you try on a shirt that you think is really cool. When you come out of the dressing room to show your friends they tell you how hideous it is. What do you do?
Buy the shirt anyway though you’ll only wear it when your home. Most definitely not at work or school.
Buy it anyway, you like it and since you have to wear it that is a good thing.
Agree with your friends, saying that you didn’t like it either and thought it would be fun to try it on as a joke
Explain to your friends how they have no fashion sense and point out all the reasons why this shirt rocks. By the time you leave your friends are leaving with the same shirt that you are.
Put the shirt back on the shelf and a month later when all your friends have bought the same shirt because it’s now in style you go back to the store and buy it.

Question 15:   What is a synonym for ire?
Ire isn’t a word so there it doesn’t have a synonym

Question 16:   What is the largest continental state in America?
New York

Question 17:   I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 5, what number am I thinking of?
A bird told me that the number is 3.
I pick famous titties for 100 Stan—1.
Not 1, or 2, or 3 or 4, the number you seek is at my door---5.
My magic eight ball says the number is 4
I divine that the number is 2.

Question 18:   If you could be any creature in the sea, what would you be?
Giant Squid
Great White Shark
Sea Turtle
Jelly Fish

Question 19:   How many oceans does earth have?

Question 20:   And finally, Who is right?
No one is right
My peers are right
I am right
Might is right
You are right

This Quiz has been designed by Anne Shirley.