Quote Quiz

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

You know what mom? You know what I'm gonna get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb up and nail yourself to it.

Weren't you scared back there?
You bet.
You don't act like it.
Well, I was scared then, but I'm not scared now. How long do you want me to be scared?

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'Cause the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.

You think we watch any of your movies, Harry? I've seen better film on teeth.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair;
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie,
I hate it when you make me laugh;
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you;
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.

Yeah, but psychic? That sounds like science fiction.

You live on a spaceship, dear.

So?

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Never date a guy who knows more about your vagina than you do.

What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn’t you consider that to be insane?

I'd rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand than an eternity without it. One.

Where were you last night?

That's so long ago, I don't remember.

Will I see you tonight?

I never make plans that far ahead.

Well, I attended Julliard, I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen The Exorcist about 167 times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy. Now what do you think? You think I'm qualified?

Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.

When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome... and then, of course, you spoke.

Something has to be done, but nothing too original, because hey, this is Hollywood.

I admire you as a policeman, particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job.

I got a hot date.

Who is she, and what did you arrest her for?

All right, people, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I love the corps!

The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets.

Yes, I was in Fickle's room. It's quite pleasant, if you're Hannibal Lector.

You're a creature of the night, Michael. My own brother, a goddamn shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'til Mom finds out!

That's not fair!

You say that so often. I wonder what your basis for comparison is?

What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.

Just once, I would like to hear you scream, in pain.

Play some rap music.

I aim to misbehave.