How to deal with bullying
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Bullying is a terrible thing, it can make us hate ourselves, but I'm here to help
Bullying is a terrible thing, it can make us hate ourselves, but I'm here to help
You’re still on this website? It’s been a long while. I hope you’re doing fine.
But Germans swear a lot as well. Especially in the car. How are you today?
I came out as queer now and it makes me so happy. I know that I’m probably pan but I just don’t care anymore. Also I told my closest friends that I am nonbinary and I want to get my hair cut soon. I am so hyped!!
Translated it means something like „ They probably won their driver's license in the lottery“
and i think thats really accurate
Sure I really like girls but honestly right now I can imagine myself with a guy. Or a nonbinary person. Lesbian never fitted me on nonbinary days anyway (since I’m genderfluid)
I’ll guess back in school I’m gonna figure out.
But truth is, I never really had the chance to think about wether I really am a lesbian or not. I kinda got peerpressured into it and I don’t like that.
I think I’m gonna go with queer. I keep saying bout myself that I’m gay and I already did that when I was bi. I know I should be about the labels but it helped me accept it and clear my mind over it.
But comes time...
We’ll see what happens in the future.
I don’t need any of them back. I’m too proud for that. All three broke my heart in a million pieces and then set it on fire. But since there’s COVID and I can’t go to school since months I feel alone. There’s no one I could turn to with the topics I need to talk about so I don’t freak out. My mental health issues. I feel like I couldn’t trust new people anyway. They kinda... broke me. I didn’t know that broken people could be broken again. I thought that at some point I stopped caring.
I hate how I am.
It’s not personality or something.
It’s that I want to improve myself but I can’t because my mind tells me constantly that I’m not worth it and that I am useless.
I know that that’s bull 😘 but it’s the stuff I believed in for over ten years. It’s not that easy to get it out of my mind. I really want to improve but my head is like a wall and it doesn’t want be to change but also wants me to change. It’s so exhausting.
I’ve been fighting with myself the whole time and I really thought that I had peace with myself but I don’t think I have. I am not suicidal or something even tho I don’t see sense in life. I thought about k*lling myself very often and I’ve often almost did it. But yet I’m still here. And I’m here to stay. I really want to keep fighting but I don’t know where I can get that energy from anymore.
I really tried changing my mindset and it worked for a while. I started to understand that there are days where I don’t have to be perfect. I am not a robot. I started to understand that it’s okay if I stay a whole day in bed and read. That it’s okay to do nothing someday. But now? I keep making myself small because when I don’t talk with friends in the phone I don’t get anything done. I hate myself because my room is a mess. But I just can’t get up.
I hate my social anxiety.
And yet, it is my comfort zone.
I don’t want to get rid of it. That thought scares me. I’ve been anxious almost forever. I don’t know what would be left without it.
Even tho I should identify myself over a mental illness.
You maybe see that my brain is very weird
but you really don’t have to answer this message. I’m just happy I found somewhere I could talk it off.
Hope ur still well
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