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Birthday Quotes that will be the icing on the cake!

The best happy birthday wishes are the ones that make our friends, relatives, and partners laugh on their special day! It's best to think of something new for everyone and captivate them with humor and love. But who has the time for that? As often as we wish someone luck in life, we quickly run out of ideas and settle for a "Congratulations", or maybe a snappy "Happy Birthday".

Not on our watch!

We'll help you show your love AND your humor when it's time to say: Happy Birthday!

An old lady in a colorful party outfit laughing into the camera

Funny Birthday Poems

What is "funny" is, of course, a matter of interpretation, but a good birthday greeting combines congratulations and funny quips, everyone knows that. "Happy Birthday" can be added at the end. Which of these poems will take the cake🎂? Can they hold a candle🕯️ to Shakespeare's works? 😉


They say good things take time,
And you age like fine wine,
Say, do you sleep on silk
and bathe in honey and milk?
You sure do look well,
for someone who's old as hell.


You've done quite well since your start,
So as you grow older take heart,
Keep up the good work and don't be a jerk,
Stay happy till you're an old fart.


Age is just a number,
so don't you hang your head
far is your eternal slumber
but in dog years, you're dead.


A candle burns for every year,
I can't believe that you're still here.


You might be the oldest hag on earth,
knuckles crack, it's like a curse.
Remember, that it could be worse,
you could be lying in a hearse.


Happiest of birthdays,
to the one that I hold dear,
I love you to the moon and back,
but prefer you to be near.


To age with dignity is rare,
So I will handle you with care,
but if your symptoms are all fake,
I will steal your birthday cake.

Funny Birthday Quotes

Whether the birthday boy or girl likes to celebrate getting older or not. With humor, congratulations are much easier to accept! The obligatory "congratulations" is then added.

"After 30, a body has a mind of its own."

– Bette Midler


"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."

– Ogden Nash


"It is sad to grow old, but nice to ripen."

– Brigitte Bardot


"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest."

– Larry Lorenzoni


"I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am."

– Francis Bacon


"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

– Mark Twain


"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are cheese."

– Billie Burke


"Last week, the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday."

– Steven Wright


"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

– Lucille Ball


"That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing."

– Bob Hope


"Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it."

– Will Rogers


"The best way to remember your wife's birthday, is to forget it once."

– H.V. Prochnow


"For my birthday, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier ... I put them in my room and let them fight it out."

– Steven Wright


"The older you get, the better you get. Unless you are a banana."

– Betty White


"There is still no cure for the common birthday."

– John Glenn


The good thing about quotes is that with the author, the seal of quality is already there. Of course, you can also make up a funny saying yourself and hope that it comes across just as funny, but if you want to play it safe with this birthday wish, stick to Mark Twain and his peers. 😉

How do I write a funny birthday greeting myself?

Want to get creative yourself? Then you have an advantage that all the people on the list above don't have: You know the birthday child!

Our tips:

  • Think of a fun moment you've shared together and remind your recipient of it. After all, people don't just make plans for the future on their birthday, they also like to look back on the past.
  • So how about referencing past birthdays? A cheeky remark about a wild night among friends will make everyone grin and get them looking forward to this year's celebration! They also make the hangover the next day more likely to be viewed with nostalgia.
  • Insiders are always good for funny birthday wishes. After all, not everyone has to understand. Try making a poem out of all your insiders!
  • It doesn't have to rhyme, but don't be afraid of it either. No one expects perfection. Rhyme away, because love is what makes the birthday wishes special.
  • Edit a picture and write something on it! Funny quotes on pictures are always something people love to hang on their walls. Especially when it's a Happy Birthday card from a friend.
  • Whatever you try, as long as you do it with love, it will be the most beautiful birthday wish of the day! And look at it this way: this year will probably not be the last year for you to create something truly special for your loved one's birthday.😉

Short funny birthday wishes

Funny birthday quotes should ideally fit into a WhatsApp message as well. Lucky you, because we have listed chat-worthy funny birthday quotes for you here. Because love can be expressed in just a few words. Especially if it is accompanied by humor!

  • And even if your ass is wrinkled, we'll still be the same! Happy Birthday!
  • You must be something special! It's over 3 million people's birthdays today, and I'm only thinking of you!
  • Once your reputation is ruined, it's easy to live freely. Happy birthday!
  • Smile while you still have teeth!
  • Charm, style, and old age – one down, two to go. Congratulations!
  • I know exactly how old you've become, but I can keep quiet...
  • Age is like wine – the older ones are supposed to be very special.
  • I don't care how old you get! We'll celebrate as if you were 21! Happy Birthday!
  • They say you get wiser with age. You're the only one who can stay young forever!
  • When you get older, three things happen: your memory goes... and... I forgot about the others. Happy Birthday!
  • I was going to stop by in person, but the sight of old people always depresses me.
  • It happens to the best of us. My condolences on getting older.
  • If anyone should call you old, hit them with your cane and throw your dentures after them.
  • I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into the world. Naked and screaming. Happy Birthday!
  • Happiness is being able to complain about your age! So bitch all you want, we'll celebrate anyway!

Funny birthday wishes for women

We wish the women in our lives all the happiness in the world! However unfair it is, a new year of life often means something different for a woman than it does for a man. Sometimes you want to refer to it specifically, to make fun of the stereotypes. Here are some funny birthday quotes exclusively for women!

"I'm not getting old. I'm getting better."

– Shirley Bassey


"An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have because the older she gets, the more interested he becomes."

– Agatha Christie


"I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it."

– Eva Gabor


"Your 40s are good. Your 50s are great. Your 60s are fab. And 70 is f@+*ing awesome!"

– Helen Mirren


"From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash."

– Sophie Tucker


"I have everything now that I had twenty years ago, except now it's all lower."

– Gypsy Rose Lee


"Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic."

– Rosalind Russell


"Thirty-five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years."

– Oscar Wilde


Funny birthday wishes for men

What would life be without men? Considerably more boring, some might say. If you want to show your love or friendship for a man on his birthday in a funny way, help yourself to these birthday quotes that cheekily honor great men on their special day!

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."

– Bob Hope


"No wise man ever wished to be younger."

– Jonathan Swift


"Men do not quit playing because they grow old – they grow old because they quit playing."

– Oliver Wendell Holmes


"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."

– George Burns


"No man is ever old enough to know better."

– Holbrook Jackson


"Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!

– Walt Disney


"A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it."

– R.C. Ferguson


"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere."

– George Burns


Group of young people celebrating a birthday

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